J.LO | The Johnny Lopez - Page 2 of 44 - I am a television, digital and magazine writer based in Los Angeles.J.LO | The Johnny Lopez

 

UPDATE: On Sunday, Mahershala Ali, Rami Malek & Olivia Colman became the 12th, 13th & 14th straight stars to win Oscars for playing LGBT characters.

 

Sunday is the Gay Super Bowl and Adam Levine will not be taking off his shirt!

And while this year’s Oscar ceremony has been plagued with a series of misfires, starting with the whole Kevin Hart homophobic tweets debacle, it promises to deliver plenty of gay content with the usual A-list red carpet arrivals and performances by Lady Gaga, Bette Midler, Kendrick Lamar & SZA, Jennifer Hudson, and Adam Lambert with Queen.

In addition, seven of the 20 acting nominees  – Rami Malek (Bohemian Rhapsody), Mahershala Ali (Green Book), Monique Colman, Rachel Weisz, Emma Stone (The Favourite), Melissa McCarthy and Richard E. Grant (Can You Ever Forgive Me) – portray LGBT characters while being actively straight in their private lives. Progressive!

While that’s all fine and good, this year, unless alleged bisexual Lady Gaga wins for Best Actress, there will once again be no openly LGBT star taking home the gold for acting. In fact, no OPENLY GAY person has ever won an Oscar for acting.

Although there have been several openly LGBT Oscar winners including Sam Smith (song), Elton John (song), Scott Rudin (film), Bill Condon (screenplay), Melissa Etheridge (song) and director Pedro Almodovar (foreign-language film, original screenplay), none have been in the acting categories.

LGBT thespians like Jodie Foster, Kevin Spacey, Joel Grey, Charles Laughton, Janet Gaynor and Marlon Brando have all won Oscars for acting, but were not publicly out at the time, if ever.

The only one that comes close is Sir John Gielgud, who won Best Supporting Actor in 1982 for Arthur.  But whether he was out at the time is debateable, as he never publicly discussed his private life.

So while there’s been no truly loud & proud queer acting winners, there have been nearly a dozen openly straight actors who have received the coveted 8.5 lb golden trophy of a chiseled, bald, muscular man for playing an LGBT character. A character, who, more often than not, leads a tragic life and winds up dead by the end. For your consideration, bury your gays!

And while I have no problem with straight actors playing gay, a shout out to the community in your acceptance speech is always a welcome gesture.

So here are the 11 stars who bravely went gay for pay, won an Oscar, and then gave LGBT inclusive (and not-so inclusive) acceptance speeches.

*WARNING! SPOILER ALERTS INCLUDED!*

1. William Hurt in 1986 for Kiss of the Spider-Woman

Hurt, a white cis straight man, won Best Actor for playing Molina, a South American transgender woman jailed in a Brazilian prison for having sex with a minor.  After working for the secret police and falling in love with a fellow prisoner (sexy Raul Julia), she is set free. Not long after, Molina winds up shot by revolutionaries and her body dumped in a pit by police. Roll credits!

In his acceptance speech, Hurt made no specific mention of the LGBT community, but did thank “the courageous people in Brazil with whom I made this film.”

Side note: Brazilian actress Sonia Braga shines as the aforementioned Spider-Woman and who Sex and the City fans might recognize as Samantha’s lesbian lover in a few episodes.

2. Tom Hanks in 1994 for Philadelphia

Hanks won his first Best Actor Oscar playing Andy Beckett, a gay corporate lawyer who sues his firm after being fired for AIDS discrimination.  With the help of a homophobic personal injury lawyer (played by Denzel Washington), Beckett winds up winning $5 million in damages. Denzel’s character manages to overcome his homophobia just in time to allow himself to physically touch Beckett’s face, who then dies in a hospital surrounded by his lover Miguel (Antonio Banderas). Cue the Springsteen song!

In his acceptance speech, Hanks thanked his gay drama teacher and a fellow gay former classmate. Those words would later lead to the inspiration for the 1997 film In & Out starring Kevin Kline.

I mention their names because they are two of the finest gay Americans, two wonderful men that I had the good fortune to be associated with, to fall under their inspiration at such a young age. I wish my babies could have the same sort of teacher, the same sort of friends.

But it’s because of Hanks’ emotional homage to the millions of people who had died from AIDS that this speech is often considered one of the best in Oscars history.

I know that my work in this case is magnified by the fact that the streets of heaven are too crowded with angels. We know their names. They number a thousand for each one of the red ribbons that we wear here tonight. They finally rest in the warm embrace of the gracious creator of us all. A healing embrace that cools their fevers, that clears their skin, and allows their eyes to see the simple, self-evident, common sense truth that is made manifest by the benevolent creator of us all and was written down on paper by wise men, tolerant men, in the city of Philadelphia two hundred years ago. God bless you all. God have mercy on us all. And God bless America.

3. Hilary Swank in 2000 for Boys Don’t Cry

The former Beverly Hills 90210 star won her first Best Actress Oscar portraying Brandon Teena, a transgender man who was brutally raped and murder by two cis men in Nebraska in 1993.

While forgetting to thank her then husband Chad Lowe made all the headlines, her final words are what truly needed to be lauded, especially back in March 2000.

I want to thank Brandon Teena for being such an inspiration to us all. His legacy lives on through our movie to remind us to always be ourselves, to follow our hearts, to not conform. I pray for the day when we not only accept our differences but celebrate our diversity.

4. Nicole Kidman in 2003 for The Hours

Kidman notched Best Actress by donning a prosthetic schnoz (The Kidman Nose™) to play bipolar, bisexual author Virginia Woolf, who committed suicide by drowning in 1941.

In her speech, Kidman didn’t reference gays, Woolf, or her nose, but she did use part of it to honor families and soldiers torn apart by the start of the recent war with Iraq.

Fun fact: Due to the invasion, traditional red carpet arrivals were cancelled & no one did press interviews. #Homophobic

Another standout moment from her speech was that Kidman was accompanied in the audience by Bella, her rarely seen Scientologist daughter with ex Tom Cruise.  That’s gotta count as some sort of gay bonus points, right?

5. Charlize Theron in 2004 for Monster

Theron gained weight, lost her brows and cancelled her Dry Bar appointments to transform into lesbian serial killer Aileen Wournos. While Theron became the first African woman to win Best Actress, in real life Wournos was exectued by lethal injection in 2002.

As would be expected, Theron made no mention of Wournos in her speech, but she did thank: “Tony G for transforming me.” So there’s that.

6. Philip Seymour Hoffman in 2006 for Capote

Hoffman took home Best Actor for playing out gay author Truman Capote in the biopic that centers on the events that led up to writing In Cold Blood.  Sadly, Hoffman and Capote’s real-life struggles with drugs and alcohol were factors in both of their early deaths.

Hoffman didn’t bring up Capote in the speech, but did give an especially poignant shout out to his mother and what mama’s boy doesn’t love that? Totes gay!

7. Penelope Cruz in 2009 for Vicky Cristina Barcelona

The Spanish star won Best Supporting Actress for her role as spirited bisexual Maria Elena, who begins a thrupple relationship with her real-life husband Javier Bardem and Scarlett Johansson in the Woody Allen romcom. Not only did she get an Oscar, but her character is still alive at the end. Baby steps!

In her speech, Cruz thanked out gay director Pedro Almodovar, with whom she often works, for creating many great female characters and letting her be apart of “so many of his adventures.”

8. Sean Penn in 2009 for Milk

Madonna’s ex-husband won his second Best Actor Oscar for portraying slain gay rights icon Harvey Milk.

The 2009 ceremomy occurred just months after Prop 8 passed banning gay marriage in California and Penn used his time to call out the Deplorables haters.

I think it’s a good time for those who voted for the ban against gay marriage to sit and reflect and anticipate their great shame and the shame in their grandchildren’s eyes if they continue in that way of support. We’ve got to have equal rights for everyone.

Also of note, out Milk screenwriter Dustin Lance Black won the Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay.

9. Natalie Portman in 2011 for Black Swan

Portman danced away with Best Actress for playing a ballerina in the psychological thriller, but it was her trippy girl-on-girl sex scene with Mila Kunis that really gets a standing, or is it lying down, O. It’s unclear what is real or not in the whole movie, but her fate by the end of the film doesn’t look good.

While she didn’t acknowledge her sapphic scene, Portman did give shout outs to “people on the film that no one ever talks about that are your heart and soul every day” like hair & makeup (gay), wardrobe stylists (probably gay) and camera operators (definitely lesbians!).

10. Christopher Plummer in 2012 for Beginners

Plummer won Best Supporting Actor for playing an elderly widower who comes out of the closet following the death of his wife. Although the character dies from cancer, he does manage to find love with a younger man and forges a new closer relationship with his adult son (Ewan McGregor).

After winning his first Oscar at the young age of 82, Plummer gave a career’s worth of thank yous to his handlers and family, but no nod to the gay community.

Fun fact: Plummer was nominated for Best Supporting Actor again in 2018 for All the Money in the World, a role he took only after Kevin Spacey was edited out of the completed film due to his sexual assault allegations. Oh and don’t forget, Spacey finally came out publicly while responding to those allegations. How lovely!

11. Jared Leto in 2014 for Dallas Buyer’s Club

Leto won Best Supporting Actor for playing Rayon, a drug addicted HIV-positive trans woman who eventually dies from AIDS-related complications.

Unlike his fellow Oscar-winning co-star Matthew McConaughey, Leto finished his acceptance speech by addressing the epidemic and those who inspired the role.

This is for the 36 million people who have lost the battle to AIDS. And to those of you out there who have ever felt injustice because of who you are or who you love, tonight I stand here in front of the world with you and for you.

Almost Extra Credit:

Cate Blanchett in 2005 for The Aviator

Blanchett won Best Supporting Actress for playing Katharine Hepburn in the Howard Hughes (Leonardo DiCaprio) biopic. While the legendary film icon’s sexuality had been the subject of rumors throughout her career, it was not addressed in the Martin Scorsese film.

Obviously, her speech makes no reference to Katharine’s sexuality or anything LGBT related.

But Blanchett would go on to receive her 7th Oscar nomination for playing a divorcée who begins a lesbian relationship with a younger woman in Carol. Suprisingly, it’s one LGBT movie that doesn’t end tragically.

Now we’ll have to wait until Sunday to see this if this list needs to be updated with Rami, Mahershala,  Olivia, et al.

As far as finally having an out LGBT Oscar winner for acting, that’s just one more positive thing I’m hoping to see happen in America in 2020.

The 91st Academy Awards air Sunday at 8pm ET/5pm PT on ABC.

ICYMI: THE BEST, WORST & THE WTF FROM THE 2019 GRAMMYS

If the 2019 Grammys had run any longer they would have had to tap Hoda and Kathie Lee to finish hosting. At three hours and 45 minutes, the show was endless, yet full of a slew of amazing female performances. Thankfully, my Super Bowl rant was heard and the DIVAS delivered.

Alicia, Dolly, Diana, Gaga, J.Lo, Cardi, Janelle, Kacey, Brandi, MICHELLE, the list goes on and on. It was ladies night and the feeling was oh so right.

So here are 25 things about this year’s show.


1. Gaga. Jada? Alicia. Michelle. J.Lo – aka The Moment! – Beyonce is shook! Michelle Obama turned the Grammys into the return of Divas Live. This almost makes up for the disaster that was the Super Bowl halftime show last week. Almost. This deserves a Vegas residency, a memoir and an EGOT.  Not only is  the internet broken, but all diseases have been cured, everyone has a perfect credit score and we’ve all subscribed to Jada’s Facebook Watch show. Ok, you’re right. Red Table Talk is taking it too far.


2. Alicia Keys – Styling by Rhoda Morganstern. But her performance was the actual Super Bowl halftime show we needed and deserved. Now unless homophobic tweets surface, Alicia can host the Oscars, the State of the Union and game night at your Aunt Beverly’s house. Sashay you stay, Alicia Augello Cook.


3. Lady Gaga – Hair. Body. Face. The bastard love child of Sammy Jo Carrington, Dale Bozzio from Missing Persons & late-90s Courtney Love. Three Grammy wins later, it’s Gaga’s world and we’re just living in it. I know many thought the performance was extra AF, but I’m all for seeing A Rock Star Is Born. Only two weeks until she tops off her amazing year by losing Best Actress to Glenn Close. Ha-ah-ah-ahhaaa-ah-ah-ah, haaawaah, ha-ah-ah-aaah!


4. Ricky Martin – Exactly 20 years since his career-changing performance of The Cup of Life at the ’99 Grammys that ignited the Latin Explosion, Ricky opened the show with a bilingual salsa-fied In the Heights-esque performance alongside Camila Cabello & J.Balvin that had me livin’ la vida loca. And just so you know, I absolutely have not been Googling white suits and mustache trimmers for the last 12 hours.


5. Shawn Mendes – Sorry Dua Lipa, but the real winner of Best New Artist goes to Shawn’s bare, buff, smooth, supple, loving arms!


6. Miley Cyrus – Dolly Parton duets and plunging necklines be damned, but long hair Miley will forever be Hannah Montana.


7. Kacey Musgraves – Katy Perry? Courteney Cox?  Kyle Richards? Paris Hilton in a wig? Who is Kacey Musgraves? She’s the rich white woman snatching all the trophies, that’s who. Get it, gurl.


8. Janelle Monae – Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to see Janelle Monae slay the house down boots! The Robert Palmer girls have been leveled up. She’s got her legs exposed & her sapphic Stormtroopers in tow, so Janelle is here, she’s queer and I can get used to this!


9. John Mayer – I hate to admit it, but I would totally let John Mayer cheat on me.


10 . Post Malone – There’s so much content here, but right now I’m most concerned with his camel toe.


11. Red Hot Chilli Peppers –  Larry, Daryl & Daryl have resurfaced! Now Bob Newhart  introducing Best New Artist makes even more sense, but the Chilli Peppers’ performance with Post Malone still does not.


12. Dolly Parton – Welcome to Dollywood! A stunning tribute, yet no one can do the 73-year-old justice. (Settle down, Katy!) It should give us all hope that there are only two types of people in this world: Dolly Parton fans and Dolly Parton super fans. Which one are you? #MakeAmericaDollyAgain


13. Cardi B –  You know it was her night when Cardi took the stage and yelled “Welcome to the Grammys!” … over an hour after the show started. The red carpet! The performance! The speech! All of it! QUEEN. History was made as the first female solo artist to win Best Rap Album. She’s CinderFuckingRella, but her evil Step Mother is gonna be pissed because she’s never won one. Also she needs a new Prince Charming. Okurrr!


14. Kylie Jenner & Meghan Trainor – There was a mix-up at the clown shop and they wore each other’s terrible outfit! Maybe I’m wrong and by next year Kris Jenner will have everyone wearing Kylie’s cattle (or is it kattle?) artificial insemination gloves. Regardless, send a pair to Meg!


15. Drake – Getting his speech cut was not the biggest indignity he suffered last night.


16. Diana Ross – Icon. Supreme. The Boss. And still no competitive Grammy wins! Zero. Drake was right, they don’t mean a thing. Her yelling “Happy Birthday to Me” is an anthem worthy of at least 3 Grammys, an all-star tribute and a Broadway musical. Dirty D!


17. Jennifer Lopez – What in Mexican telenovela hell is this? Jenny from the Cartel? The Norteño Grammys? Love makes you do stupid things, so I’m blaming this rare red carpet misfire on A.Rod. As for the Motown tribute, granted she may have been a very, very curious choice, but that performance proved she should have done the Super Bowl halftime show last year, this year & next year!


18. Smokey Robinson/Grey – The Grammy’s of the Damned …for that Motown tribute. I don’t know who Grey are, but a male blond duo hasn’t made an impression like this since Nelson.

 


19. Bebe Rexha – She said no designer wanted to dress her for the Grammys.  So she channeled her inner Anna Nicole and said “Like My Body!” …and they did.


20. St. Vincent & Dua Lipa – I am now a lesbian.  Take me to your leader, ladies! They were giving us L-Word in Space, the club scene in Basic Instinct minus Michael Douglas in a deep V & Jennifer Tilly/ Gina Gerson Bound realness. And I was here for all of it.


21. Yolanda Adams, Fantasia, Andra Day – I have nothing but R-E-S-P-E-C-T for their amazing voices. They did Aretha right. But they should have used some of their Black Girl Magic to find a stylist befitting of their talents. Seriously, Andra needs to send a cease & desist, stat! Say a little prayer.


22. Wilmer Valderrama – Damn, Papi.


23. Toni Braxton – The 51-year-old diva just won the 18-year challenge.


24. Weezer – Crockett & Tubbs could never! The OG hipster kings are living their best Miami Vice life, unironically.


25. Katy Perry – She tried it.


SPECIAL MENTION: Aida Cuevas – She’s the Queen of Ranchera Music, but now everyone will know her as the woman who wore Roseanne’s (I mean, The Conners’) couch to the Grammys. Pobrecita!

 

ICYMI: 20 THINGS YOU MISSED FROM THE SOTU SPEECH

 

You heard all the lies, half-truths and exaggerations in Donald Trump‘s State of the Union speech, so I’ll spare you from rehashing any of that nonsense.

Instead here are 20 things you didn’t see or hear last night.

ALL THE THINGS NANCY PELOSI SAID …


1. “This is going to be a tough vote. I mean, I love Lady Gaga, but Glenn Close is long overdue.”

 


2. “I’ll have the fettuccine alfredo, sauce on the side, and a house salad.”

 


3. “Hey Pencey. 22 Across. What’s a five-letter word for snake oil salesman? Bwahaha.”

 


4. “The only wall going up is this hand between you and my chest.”

 


5. “This is my House, bitch. Kiss the ring.”

 


6. “Don’t worry, Donald. I’ll keep your balls safe right here.”

 


7. “Dang! That weave is even more busted than I thought.”

 


8. “Mother is gonna shit when she sees this!”

 


9. “I think you’re really going to love Club 96.”

 


1o. “You’re so basic vain. You probably think this clap is about you.”

 


11. “That performance was completely phony and devoid of any charisma, uniqueness, nerve or talent.  Your runway look was amateur, crooked and an insult to all the queens that stand before you. And your hair and makeup were even cheaper than your words. Donald Trump, you are up for incarceration. The time has come for you to lip sync for your life.”

 

THREE THINGS MIKE PENCE WAS THINKING …


12. “Next year I’ll be giving this speech …or in solitary confinement.”
13. “Forgive me Mother, for I have sinned.”
14. “Jeepers! I can’t wait for that Maroon 5 guy to come on & take his shirt off again.”

THREE THINGS MELANIA SAID TO HERSELF …


15.”I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Oh, not yet? My bad.”
16.”You can do this. Hello, I’m Melania. Be Best. Children. Bullying. Hello, I’m Melania. Be Best. Children. Bullying. Hello, I’m Mel…..”
17.  “I think it’s time I go for another one of those ‘kidney operations’ again.”

WHAT A.O.C. WAS THINKING …


18. “I thought when a new Supreme rises, the old one is supposed to fade away. Goddammit!”
19. “I’m fine if this whole politics thing doesn’t work out, because what I really want to do is direct.”
20. “Jovani.”

Stay strong, everyone. There are only 626 days until Election Day, November 3, 2020.

 

ICYMI: THE 12 MOST FABULOUS SUPER BOWL HALFTIME SHOWS

They may be on an off-brand network, but the SAG Awards are doing something right. The show is a lean two hours with 15 categories, no overwrought numbers and presided over by a lowkey host.

With no homophobic tweet history to be found, Megan Mullally made it look easy, breezy and fun. She had some zingers, did a quick skit here and there, and mostly just let the show drive itself. No big whoop. So what? Who cares? And everyone goes home happy in time to watch Rent (not-so)Live on their DVR.

So whether you saw the SAGs or not, here are 15 moments that caught my eye.

1. Megan Mullally & Angela Bassett – This is 60. Icons & Legends only, the rest of us are all screwed.

2. Geoffrey Owens – Since the former Cosby Show star went from unemployed actor to front & center at the SAGs with multiple TV gigs just five months after being job shamed for working at Trader Joe’s, I’m expecting a big return from the universe for all those years of being shamed for buying 2 Buck Chuck. Seriously, hire me!

3. Matt Bomer & Ricky Martin – This made all the EPT results positive, melted all the Zara skinny jeans from Weho to Hells Kitchen and forced Mother to send Mike Pence immediately into a sensory deprivation chamber for the remainder of the Dump presidency. #TheRapture

4. Meg Ryan – Just kidding. Jane Fonda is the GOAT. Flawless!

5. Lady Gaga & Bradley Cooper – (Today, the part of Halsey will be played by Anthony Ramos.) I have A Star Is Born PTSD, because anytime I see Ally Stefani & Brad standing on a stage together I can’t help but stare at his pants expecting it to happen again? Don’t do it, Jackson Maine!

Robin Wright – Category is: Michelle Pfeiffer in Scarface goes to an award show and steals all the husbands realness. Based on this photo, Netflix has greenlit a House of Cards prequel where Claire Underwood time travels to the ’70s and for three seasons just dances and does coke at Studio 54. I’m so in!

Gabrielle Carteris – Here’s you’re annual reminder that while you were all chanting Donna Martin graduates, Andrea Zuckerman became SAG President!

Glenn Close & Michael Douglas – If you look real close you can see Lady Gaga boiling a rabbit behind them!

Patricia Arquette – If Patty can thank her co-stars, call out shady meal penalty infractions & praise Robert Mueller in a 90 second acceptance speech, you can get through Monday.

 

Awkwafina & Laverne Cox – This is the buddy comedy we need & deserve now!

Jason Bateman – So does best actor in drama series for Ozark mean he’s forgiven for mansplaining Jeffrey Tambor’s harassment of Jessica Walters on Arrested Development? Take your time.

Sandra Oh – Eve Polastri for the win again! And just like that Grey’s Anatomy is officially no longer her most defining role. RIP Cristina Yang.

Elisabeth Moss – Is the Scientolo-star slowly trading one cult for another? Praise be, the Deplorables?! If Leah Remini can’t save her, maybe Nancy Pelosi can!

Scott Bakula – I don’t watch NCIS: Dayton or whatever, but dayum grand zaddy! The 64-year-old has taken a quantum leap back in time.

Michael B. Jordan – What in S&M Laura Ashley floral hell is this?! Everyone lied to Michael B. Jordan. Louis Vuitton lied. Michael’s stylist lied. His publicist lied. The entire cast of Black Panther lied. Even Luenell lied and she had cougar spots sprayed into her head! This is not Michael B. Jordan’s fault. Michael B. Jordan has been wronged and we are all to blame. We all cheered on Timothee Chalamet & Adam Rippon‘s previous award show harness moments as fashion forward and edgy and then we turned around and put a glorified baby leash on Adonis Creed! On Johnny Storm!  On mutha fucking Killmonger?! We are all garbage and the only thing that can undue the damage is a celestial body. And by that I mean a photo of Michael B. Jordan shirtless.

Phew! My chakras have been cleansed, balance has been restored & all is right with the world. We must never see or speak of that again. Namaste!

If you didn’t watch the SAGs and chose to catch RENT (not-so) LIVE instead, here is a 15 second (Valentina-free) recap.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

525600 Real Housewives (sound on) …#LaVieCohen 💃🏼💃🏽💃🏻 #RentLive 🗣#RealHousewives

A post shared by Johnny Lopez 🇺🇸🇨🇺 (@thejohnnylopez) on

 

PS: If you are keeping score, the Oscar frontrunners are now Glenn Close & Rami Malek for lead actress/actor, Mahershala Ali for supporting Actor (would be his second) and supporting actress a toss up between Amy Adams and Regina King. The Academy didn’t nominate SAG winner Emily Blunt. Stay tuned. #ForYourConsideration

Here’s the full SAG winners list:

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Leading Role
Rami Malek in Bohemian Rhapsody

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Leading Role
Glenn Close in The Wife

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Supporting Role
Mahershala Ali in Green Book

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Supporting Role
Emily Blunt in A Quiet Place

Outstanding Performance by a Cast in a Motion Picture
Black Panther

Outstanding Action Performance by a Stunt Ensemble in a Motion Picture
Black Panther

TELEVISION WINNERS

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Television Movie or Limited Series
Darren Criss in The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Television Movie or Limited Series
Patricia Arquette in Escape at Dannemora

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Drama Series
Jason Bateman in Ozark

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Drama Series
Sandra Oh in Killing Eve

Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Comedy Series
Tony Shalhoub in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Comedy Series
Rachel Brosnahan in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Drama Series
This Is Us

Outstanding Performance by an Ensemble in a Comedy Series
The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

Outstanding Action Performance by a Stunt Ensemble in a Comedy or Drama Series
GLOW

The 55th Annual SAG Life Achievement Award
Alan Alda

1. Winter has come and Julie Chen is serving Khaleesi from the House of Moonves realness. She doesn’t have three dragons, only one … her husband! #ChenBotOfThrones

2. It’s been revealed that WWE star Natalie Eva Marie is actually the bastard love child of Ariana Grande & Demi Lovato. #TotalDivasLive

3. Lolo Jones is a favorite to win, not because she’s is an Olympian, but because as a 36-year-old virgin she’s got all the endurance tests in the bag. Yes, she’s the nearly 40-year-old virgin. #KellyClarkson

4. This is either OJ Simpson houseboy legend Kato Kaelin or Tilda Swinton‘s latest performance art piece.  The verdict’s still out.

5. Tamar Braxton & Joey Lawrence could make it to the end, but only if they form the secret Beautiful, Bald & Brows alliance. #Woah

6. “OG momager” Dina Lohan gets the sympathy vote, because she filed for bankruptcy last year to save her Long Island home. If she doesn’t win the $1ooK, season 2 of Lohan Beach House might just have a new VIP server on staff. #ParentalGuidanceSuggested

7. Jonathan Bennett is having a moment. Big Brother, Cake Wars, Ariana’s Thank U, Next video & he’s in a relationship with a former Chippendales dancer. So fetch!  After having his career stalled for being gay (he publicly came out in 2017) following Mean Girls, all I can say is: “you go, Aaron Samuels!”

8. First Omarosa and now Anthony Scaramucci. Can BB please stop sympathizing with these Trump enablers?!  The Mooch showed his snowflake status by whining: “I’m not happy there was a twist on day 1 of coming into the House.” But it’s unclear if he was talking about Big Brother or his stint with the Disaster-in-Chief.

 

Who is head of the household? Who is up for eviction? I have no clue, but with 4 episodes of #CelebBB a week, we better get a shirtless/speedo moment of Joey, Jonathan & Ryan, stat!

Until then, enjoy Joey’s 1993 classic video for Nothing My Love Can’t Fix.

 

Fifteen years after Mean Girls, Lindsay Lohan is back and coming for Lisa Vanderpump‘s gigs!

The 32-year-old former child star turned former party girl is now a club owner, or at the least, playing one on TV.

Set in Mykonos, the premiere episode proved to be quite the educational experience. Here are 10 things I learned watching Lindsay Lohan’s Beach Club.

 

1. The first rule of Lindsay Lohan Beach Club is never mention Lindsay Lohan Beach Club   always wear a bra.  Also, LOL to meeting with Spielberg! She funny.

2. The term “model marketing server” is apparently a thing and it’s douchy VIP lounge code for … server.

3. Blue hair is ok at Lohan Beach Club (and at the Golden Globes).  But two ladies with blue hair is not. #OnWednesdaysWeDyeYourHairPink

4. There are no production assistants or cabs in Mykonos, because LiLo is still driving herself around town. LAWD HAVE MERCY! 

5. Half of the show’s production budget went towards microblading for the male cast. Et tu, after-show host Jonathan Bennett.

6. Thirteen years since trust fund garbage person Brandon Davis called her out for being “$7 million poor,” Linds finally set the record straight.

 

7. Lindsay: “If she has more makeup than me then she’s fired.”  Um, agreed!

 

8. It’s official, Lindsay is not 45.

9. Lindsay: “The second you become emotional, I’m going to become like Putin. I have no emotion when it comes to money & business.” This also explains her performances in Liz & Dick  and The Canyons.

10. The true star of the show are Lindsay’s statement earrings. Hopefully someone paid for them!

 

And finally, if you need a non-Lindsay reason to watch next week’s episode, say hello (or is it yassou?) to Aristotle. I’ll be his brand ambassador anytime!

Now let’s pretend we’re in Mykonos and dance to the anthem of a generation. Welcome back, Lindsay!  #Rumors

 

ICYMI: 2019 Golden Globes Recap

IT GETS BETTER

Comments
January 8, 2019 // Gay, Videos

The It Gets Better Project does amazing work for LGBTQ youth & am extremely grateful they let my story be a small part of it. 🙏🏾 😍 🏳️‍🌈 #ItGetsBetter

We’ve seen fear take over our country & politics and it has now come to award shows as shown by Andy Samberg and Sandra Oh’s resistance to make any biting jokes at this year’s Golden Globes.

I feel that fear as well.

Are we allowed to make fun of things anymore? Will I be labeled a troll or a “hater?” Are fashion critiques in poor taste when so much real ugliness is happening around the world, at our border or down your street?

These are things that I have asked myself and why I haven’t really written a recap in almost two years.

But I decided to resist & not give in to that fear. We can walk and chew gum at the same time. We can give our attention to the important stuff & still enjoy the nonsense. In fact the nonsense is now called mental health. Thank you, Real Housewives, Hallmark movies and, yes, even perhaps, award show recaps.

I hope you enjoy my lighthearted take on this year’s Globes. If you don’t, please feel free to call me out on social media … because I could really use the followers!

Sandra Oh – I watched six episodes of Killing Eve on a flight from Miami and loved it almost as much as Sandra’s shout-out to her parents, her emotional words on the historic diversity moment and her opening monologue red Versace tux dress.

Andy Samberg – On a scale of 1 to 10, lame Ruth Chris Steakhouse jokes aside, he was a Brooklyn Nine point Nine.  “Lazy Sunday” Samberg has officially leveled up.

Lady Gaga -Blue hair. Body. Face. Poor Ally, this time Jackson Maine didn’t piss all over her award show moment, but Glenn Close did! So many gays are mad that the Globes didn’t give Gaga an acting award for A Star Is Born, but I’m still mad that the Globes gave Gaga an acting award for American Horror Story: Hotel.  Kidding aside, I thought she was good in ASIB & the music was great. But her Cinderalla at the Met Gala prom look was not. Fear not little monsters, the song Oscar is hers to lose.

Glenn Close – In the name of Alex Forrest, Marquise Isabelle de Merteuil & Albert Knobbs, Ms. Close is finally ready for her Oscar close-up! She really is that good in The Wife. An acting powerhouse whose time is long overdue & that acceptance speech may have just solidified it. Take the Fatal Attraction reunion kiss with Michael Douglas as proof that Glenn won’t be ignored this year.

Bradley Cooperde plane, de plane! Not exactly sure if he’s Mr. Rourke or Tattoo in that ice cream man white tux, but if you had told me in 2001 that the guy on Alias would one day become one of the industry’s most esteemed actors (and now) director, I’d say that was some sinister Fantasy Island shit.

Danai Gurira, Michael B. Jordan & Lupita Nyong’o – Wakanda Forever but cancel the CW, because this is the Dynasty reboot I want to see. Hey Netflix, I’ve found your new Alexis, Blake & Krystle Carrington.

Ben Whishaw & Mark Ronson – For the love of Propecia, this is what I call hair porn.

Jamie Lee Curtis – Activa does the body good! Laurie Strode murdered Michael Myers and turned into… Brigitte Nielsen?!  Oh and Ben Stiller, call me!

Patricia Arquette – Escape at Dannemora is a painfully slow burn that often times feels like a prison sentence, but so worth it for Patty’s insane performance. She’s unrecognizable & deserves everything!

Steve Carell – No joke, ain’t nothing funny about how good he looks. Steve Carell can get it. Thoughts & prayers for Welcome to Marwen.

Carol Burnett – If there’s one thing our divided shitshow of a nation can agree on is that we all love Carol. And while the word is thrown around so easily these days, CB truly is ICONIC.

Idris Elba & Taylor Swift – This is how you piss off Trump supporters. Their film adaptation of Cats is how you will piss off the entire country… now & forever!

Regina King – Her career is on fire, she’s never looked better and that inspiring don’t-you-dare-cue-the-orchestra acceptance speech! It’s Brenda from 227‘s world and we all just living in it.

Megan Mullally – I think Karen has been drinking from the Jennifer Lopez & Sandra Bullock fountain of youth. You go with your 60-year-old bad self Anastasia Beaverhausen! And hey, Kristen Bell.

Debra Messing – Hurry & grab a blinfold because this dress may be the closest we’ll ever get to seeing what the creatures in Bird Box looked like.

Mahershala Ali – With all the Green Book controversy, at least he doesn’t have to apologize for great acting.

Amy Poehler & Maya Rudolph– How many homophobic tweets does a girl have to have to get to host the Oscars?

Felicity Huffman – Looking like Brad Pitt-era Aniston!

Patricia Clarkson – So glad she won, but she should have also thanked closed captioning subtitles for allowing the world to figure out exactly what she was saying throughout her drunken southern drawl whispering in Sharp Objects.

Saoirse Ronan – Love her in everything, especially this custom made Gucci number!

Christian Bale – Props for that speech & while he is the ultimate shape shifter, everyone knows there’s only one person who can convincingly play Mitch McConnell …

 

View this post on Instagram

 

With apologies to the melting Nazi from ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark!’ #RESIST #SkinnyRepeal #Twins

A post shared by Johnny Lopez 🇺🇸🇨🇺 (@thejohnnylopez) on

Alfonso Cuaron – I loved Roma but I’m so mad I saw it on Netlfix and not on the big screen. I’m still thinking about it.  And for those in the back, Cuaron’s the Oscar-winning Mexican director that didn’t make The Revenant or Birdman. That’s Alejandro Inarittu. Got it? Ok, gracias!

Darren Criss – He was fantastic as Andrew Cunanan in Versace, loved that he showed his Filipina mom some love & he is a great LGBT ally. All that being said, I think the loud jacket trend is officially over. Please send cards and letters to Carson Kressly, Ryan Murphy (above) & all your fabulous gay wedding guests.

Jeff Bridges – Congrats on the Cecil B. DeMille award. Now please take a moment of silence to pay your respects to Jeff in Against All Odds. #NeverForget

Emily Blunt & John Krasinski – I want to be John Krasinski’s beard. This is not a jab at Emily. I literally want to pack up and live inside his beard! That is my Quiet Place. So damn hot.

Halle Berry & Lena Waithe – The new Hollywood Power couple! The only thing hotter than these two together is that Boomerang promo.   We see you, Keith Urban!

 

The Assassination of Gianni Versace: American Crime Story – I make fun of a lot of Ryan Murphy’s shows for often going off the rails, but hearing how so many younger gays (& straights!) learned a little bit of what life was like in the homophobic ’90s by watching this show really pressed upon me the importance of having his voice & power in the industry to tell these stories. Plus executive producer Brad Simpson’s speech is everything. “Resist in the street & resist at the ballot box, but live with love and empathy in our everyday lives.”

Olivia Coleman – I wish The Favourite was my favorite, but at least Olivia’s endearing speech was.

Janelle Monae – No, she’s not in If Beale Street Could Talk (although she introduced it) but I would see her in anything … well, except Welcome to Marwen.

Rami Malek – His fake teeth are no longer the most awkward thing about Bohemian Rhapsody. That distinction now goes to Malek and producer Graham King’s acceptance speeches as they purposely avoided acknowledging any of the movie’s gayness, i.e. disgraced director Bryan Singer. Oh mamma mia!

Nicole Kidman – She can do no wrong, the same does not go for her stylist who was the real Destroyer by having that inexplicable black bow ruin her sleek merlot Michael Kors gown. Now if she would just loan Keith Urban one of her award-worthy wigs, we could all be saved from yet another sighting of his 2005 flat ironed & highlighted L-word bangs.

Billy Porter – Diva to the dance floor, please! Category is: Andre Leon Talley meets a matador at game night at Liberace’s house realness. Tens. Tens. Tens across the board.

Stephan James – Lawd have mercy! Black velvet if you please …and for your nerves! He is snatched! Swoon.

Timothee Chalamet – Is he heading to Dancing with the Stars? Or Ice Capades? Wherever he’s going, I’m following. If that’s a sequined harness, then call me by your safe word.  Sequined bib? Then Beautiful Boy, indeed.

Cody Fern – Sheer & heels and smoky eyes, oh my. I’m scared. I’m excited. I’m confused. I’m obsessed. I’m here for all of it. The Versace & House of Cards actor just showed the world how to nonchalantly Werk & Serve & Face. Consider this the new uniform at Conde Nast. Sometimes when you break the rules, you make new ones. She’ll never admit it, but somewhere in the Scottish highlands, Tilda Swinton is staring at a white wall & smiling.

Chris Messina – So I guess I am into blondes now. Move over Hemsworth, Pratt, Evans & Pine, there’s a new Chris in town. With one dye job, he’s gone from everyone’s wannabe boyfriend to fuckboy.

Ricky Martin – Speaking of wannabe boyfriends & fuckboys, hola papi.

Charlize Theron – This is Charlize on the red carpet. This is also Charlize picking up a few essentials at Rite Aid. And this is Charlize when she wakes up in the morning. This is Charlize. Classic. Exquisite. Perfection. Movie Star.

Julia Roberts – Did you really think the most famous film actress in the world would attend an award show where she’s nominated for a television role and actually wear a gown?! Tonight was business casual for Jules & she looked flawless.

Elisabeth Moss –  Praise be that a little black dress never goes out of Scientolostyle.

 

Thank U, Next.

Gym. Tan. Lookalike!

Real Housewives of New Jersey star Dolores Catania and Wendy Williams on Surving R.Kelly must have the same hair, makeup and wardrobe stylists …or somethin’ like that.

When you’re originally from the Garden State you’re family.

NO THANK U, NEXT!

Comments
January 3, 2019 // Music, Um

 

The hipster is dead. Long live the hipster!

It’s official, with Ariana Grande headlining Coachella the indie music festival has become the new IHeartRadio. Thank you, Gaga and Beyonce.

Stay tuned for The Cheetah Girls reunion in 2020.