Things learned watching the 2012 Academy Awards:
- Who knew Meryl Streep winning an award could be so shocking?
- Thanks to Jennifer Coolidge, my new fave word is ELEVATOR FACES.
- Ryan Seacrest is a pro at getting a man’s mess off his tux … just sayin’.
- Add “hairstylist” to the things Gabourey Sidibe desperately needs.
- The best part of the show was … Angelina’s leg – literally.
- Oh, how the mighty have fallen… when Oprah gets an award but isn’t even allowed to speak!
- Esperanza Spalding should sing at every IN MEMORIAM segment. What a wonderful… performance.
- Sandra Bullock speaking German only makes Jesse James’ Nazi photos seem that much more bizarre.
- Viola Davis should have given the wig she didn’t wear to Kelly Osbourne or Cameron Diaz!
- Ironically, watching Billy Crystal tell lame, tired jokes makes me want to hurl gay slurs.
It was the safe Oscars; from safe dresses, to safe host and even safer jokes. But what do you expect when even the best film of the year barely utters a word? I can only imagine what the Oscars will look like if Santorum is elected. Lawd have mercy.
So for your consideration… the Oscar recap.
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