April 2014 - J.LO | The Johnny LopezJ.LO | The Johnny Lopez

Donald_Mickey Here’s L.A. Clippers’ banned billionaire bigot owner (for now) Donald Sterling, 80, at an NBA game recently (left) — and what geologists believe is Oscar nominated actor Mickey Rourke, 61,  at the Generation Iron premiere in Hollywood last September (right).

Neither was able to save face.

David_Ricky David Beckham, 38, and Ricky Martin, 42, joined their hot daddy forces at The China Music Awards in Macao last week.

But who would you choose?

Bend it like … Martin!


It’s the final six of Season 6, and someone got sick! So, here are the seis most outrageous things from last night’s episode.

6. Orange is the New Whack
Now that the whole she-mail debacle has been rectified, the most offensive thing on RPDR is its treatment of people of color … specifically those of the Oompa Loompa persuasion. From Santino Rice and Michelle Visage to Neil Patrick Harris and husband David Burtka, this week’s judging panel’s overuse of bronzer was so severe that authorities were almost called in to issue an Amber Alert. Tanning makeup kills, and somebody needs to save these chilrins!
5. Sew What?!
Adore Delano can’t stitch, cinch or do anyone else’s makeup if her life depended on it … and on this show, it does. But the gurl’s got personality, can perform and always manages to pull through in the end. Most importantly, she gives great interviews. So with all the fishy queens being taken out one by one, the time has come for Ms. Courtney to get her Act together. We’re 10 episodes in and still waitin’ for her to stop tawkin’ about how fabulous she is and finally brang it, henny.
4. I Don’t!
Was it me or was that entire marriage thing just strange? And I don’t mean because the ‘brides’ and ‘grooms’ were in drag. Maybe my heart is colder than Bianca Del Rio’s, but the whole half-sincere, half-joking vow exchanges were even more bizarre and confusing than a Lindsay Lohan miscarriage revelation. Speaking of … while I’m obviously all for gay-positive heterosexual couples, sometimes these heavy-handed ‘on a very special episode’-type segments (and the accompanying mood music) should just be aborted from the get-go.
3. Male Order Brides
Who doesn’t love a good makeover? While Bianca’s drag bride was the only decent doppleganger (Joy Behar, is that you?), the others provided some unfortunate wigged out looks. Joslyn’s reluctant protégé’s transformation did leave him looking like the female Gremlin … crossed with the blending skills of Season 5’s CoCo Montrese and the demure glamour of To Wong Foo’s Noxzema Jackson. Darienne Lake took out her rivalry on BenDeLaCreme by serving her guy some Michelle Visage realness, while Courtney and Dela successfully made their mother-of-the-brides look exactly alike and indecipherable from each other. And ay yay yay, Adore. Her bridezilla had the makings of a young Big Ang from Mob Wives … and needed to be taken out. Send these drag daughters to their rooms, stat!
2. What Does the Fox Say?
Joslyn Fox really is sickening. Sadly, it required a mop, bucket and two production assistants to prove it!  While I did grow to like J.Fo with her sweet demeanor, clueless giggle and out of drag Lori Petty chic, she just never really ramped it up and wowed us (ahem, Courtney Act). While her Vegas showgirl meets Long Island hoochie taste level was surely lacking, something should be said for the fact that she managed to always play nice and never really threw shade. A Drag Race first? But in the end, she lip synched and got out-Foxed by Adore’s stomping ratchet stage persona.
1. Bianca Del Rio
Congratulations, you are America’s Next Drag Superstar. Roll the credits.

Jenner_KISSWith their marriage in a state of total ambiguity, former Olympian Bruce Jenner, 64, and Kardashian oligarch Kris Jenner, 58,  have been thrusted further into turmoil over the discovery of yet another one of their biological offspring … 62-year-old KISS guitarist Paul Stanley.

The uncanny birthright revelation was made when the gender neutral rock star  — whose given name is Stanley Bert Eisen — arrived to a book signing for his new memoir, called appropriately enough, Face the Music: A Life Exposed in Ridgewood, New Jersey on Wednesday.

Reports claim the paternity news started to come to light following Bruce’s recent laryngeal shave surgery to remove his Adam’s apple. According to sources, Kris then became extra suspicious about Paul’s true identity upon noticing that the musician didn’t appear to have one either.

While there is no official word if this latest family drama will unfold in an upcoming episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, the mystery of where Khloe gets her good looks has finally been solved.

Kardashians In Satan’s Service.


With two back-to-back episodes, this week had me questioning if RuPaul’s Drag Race was doing so badly that LOGO decided to burn off a week to save its losses. But then I realized, it’s LOGO, and what do they actually have to air in its place, Mr. Belvedere reruns? Anyway, thankfully we now know the super-sized double dose was because of this week’s non-elimination episode. So shanté you stay for an extra 60 minutes.

The Lake Haus
Speaking of super-sized, Darrienne continued with her tactic of picking a fight with Dela as a means of staying in the game. Herstorically, big gals have had about a size zero chance of winning, but creating faux dramz with the nicest person this season all but assures she makes it closer to the end. While she comes off sounding sad and bitter in all her rants, if she can keep the contrived turmoil up as well as she does her moobs, the bastard love child of Larry Bud Melman and Ursula from The Little Mermaid may just have a chance to represent the curvy girls in the final three.

Category is: Bianca Del Rio rRealness
And the winner is … Leah Remini. Was she a judge or a contestant? Leah may have narrowly escaped from Scientology with her life, but there is still one thing she wasn’t able to properly beat—her face. Someone please let her know makeup that harsh is only appropriate if you have a penis or after being driven home from a pre-Grammy party by Chris Brown.


With their natural White Chicks shtick, Laganja and Adore had this challenge in their giant leather Louis Vuitton bag. While Ganj’s bitchin’ and moanin’ about being overshadowed proved once again why she’s a total designer impostor, Adore’s one-liners, facial expressions and ‘dead dog’ runway realness further reiterated the fact that’s she’s the real deal. Party!

Oh Nomi Didn’t
Poor Courtney Act and Joslyn Fox. Despite being the two fishiest gals, there isn’t enough Glamazon Colorevolution in the world to enhance their mediocre Housewives act. While Court should gets bonus points for the Klaus Nomi (google alert for the kids!) runway ensemble, the four peeps who might have actually gotten the reference sadly don’t watch this show. In the end, it was Dela and Darienne battling it out to the “Point of No Return,” which proved to be a misnomer because no one sashayed away. Darrienne’s delusional hatred of Dela gets to live another day.

The Holy Trinity
It’s amazing how well Trinity K. Bonet did after a few encouraging words from Bianca … and the crafty handy work of the show’s producers. I understand the powers that be need to deliver a story arc, but this feels like the most blatant example of a contestant’s evolution being determined not by their talent but by that of the show’s editors (and the insertion of Ru’s cackling laugh throughout her stand-up). Sorry Ru, but I’m just gonna … say it, if you tell us Trinity has broken out of her shell and taken it to the next level (and we’re not just being shown her two best edits) then we’ll have to take your word for it, but it all sounds a bit like a Ru-se to me.

Comedy is a Challenge
There were two hysterical parts to the Drag Queens of Comedy—Bianca Del Rio’s set and the cast of elderly hobos, street urchins and assorted vagrants picked to be in the audience. As far as the gurls, Courtney was quite successful with her season-long mission to consistently underwhelm, while most shocking was the fact that normally on-point comedy queens Adore and Dela bombed. Joslyn finally stood out from the pack—by being in the bottom two—while Laganja imploded through her relentless Mad Libs use of ‘momma’ and ‘werk’ amid her latest disastrous routine. But thanks to their synchronized gymnastic abilities, this week’s lip synch proved to be a split decision. Unfortch Ganj played the Stupid Girl and broke the cardinal rule of drag and de-wigged herself (although it worked for Trinity, mmm hmmm). Sashay away, Momma!

Game Ovah
Please hand Bianca the crown already. While her mastery of wit and flawless execution of every challenge is sickening, homegirl even upped her glam game in that black and white princess runway getup. While B’s brand of ‘evil nice’ is sometimes mean, always funny and never wrong, her sage and endearing life coach skills with Trinity also prove there’s more than just a black heart underneath all that foundation and exaggerated eyeliner. And while she seems like the sure thing destined to take it all, don’t be fooled chilrins, as it’s still early enough in the season for producers to concoct an entirely new storyline … and winner. Exhibit A: Raven in season 2. Exhibit B: Chad Michaels in season 4. Just sayin’ …

Here’s Lady Gaga roaming the streets of Manhattan in a hideous floral getup compliments of an Ethan Allen outlet in Boynton Beach — Vicki Lawrence as Thelma Harper (‘Mama’) in the ’80s sitcom ‘Mama’s Family.’

If she wants Applause … she’s gonna need a laugh track.