Joey Lawrence | J.LO | The Johnny Lopez

1. Winter has come and Julie Chen is serving Khaleesi from the House of Moonves realness. She doesn’t have three dragons, only one … her husband! #ChenBotOfThrones

2. It’s been revealed that WWE star Natalie Eva Marie is actually the bastard love child of Ariana Grande & Demi Lovato. #TotalDivasLive

3. Lolo Jones is a favorite to win, not because she’s is an Olympian, but because as a 36-year-old virgin she’s got all the endurance tests in the bag. Yes, she’s the nearly 40-year-old virgin. #KellyClarkson

4. This is either OJ Simpson houseboy legend Kato Kaelin or Tilda Swinton‘s latest performance art piece.  The verdict’s still out.

5. Tamar Braxton & Joey Lawrence could make it to the end, but only if they form the secret Beautiful, Bald & Brows alliance. #Woah

6. “OG momager” Dina Lohan gets the sympathy vote, because she filed for bankruptcy last year to save her Long Island home. If she doesn’t win the $1ooK, season 2 of Lohan Beach House might just have a new VIP server on staff. #ParentalGuidanceSuggested

7. Jonathan Bennett is having a moment. Big Brother, Cake Wars, Ariana’s Thank U, Next video & he’s in a relationship with a former Chippendales dancer. So fetch!  After having his career stalled for being gay (he publicly came out in 2017) following Mean Girls, all I can say is: “you go, Aaron Samuels!”

8. First Omarosa and now Anthony Scaramucci. Can BB please stop sympathizing with these Trump enablers?!  The Mooch showed his snowflake status by whining: “I’m not happy there was a twist on day 1 of coming into the House.” But it’s unclear if he was talking about Big Brother or his stint with the Disaster-in-Chief.

 

Who is head of the household? Who is up for eviction? I have no clue, but with 4 episodes of #CelebBB a week, we better get a shirtless/speedo moment of Joey, Jonathan & Ryan, stat!

Until then, enjoy Joey’s 1993 classic video for Nothing My Love Can’t Fix.

Joey Lawrence hair evolution
After undergoing years of in-weavetro fertilization, Joey Lawrence took to the People’s Choice Awards on Wednesday to proudly debut the latest technological breakthrough in chemically straightened, highlighted and reupholstered comb-overs. Paging Donald Trump!

And while the 38-year-old’s new long and lustrous locks appear to perfectly match his geometrically sculpted brows and dewy, heavily contoured tangerine complexion, Joey has spent decades reinventing his buff, plucked and over styled facade.

Let’s take a look back at Joey’s slow but steady transformation from child star to waxen figurine.

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1985 – Even at the age of nine, the adorable Gimme A Break star rocked The Dorothy Hamill better than most.

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1992 – His failed singing career (Nothin’ My Love Can’t Fix, anyone?) may have been the missing boy band link between New Kids on the Block and the whole NSYNC/Backstreet Boys era, but there’s no denying he had The Rachel beat by at least two years.

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2000 – Who knew the real threat wasn’t Y2K, but the terror wrought on by the spiky, frosted & flat-ironed tips of the early 21st century?! #byebyebye

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2006 – While all the It girls were chatting on their Swarovski encrusted Razr phones and flashing their shaved bits outside Hyde, the original JLaw, 30, opted for a bald head, ear bling and enough bronzer to make the then-unknown Kardashians jealous.

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2010 – As the rest of the country struggled to make ends meet during the  Great Recession, JoJo kept it frugal by cutting back on his tanning appointments and hair dye.

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2012 – With Obama elected for a second term, Joey sported hair lengths unseen since the Clinton administrations and got very liberal … with his necklines.

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2013 – Joey knows the backwards baseball cap is the sweatpants of beauty regimens because sometimes you’re just too depressed to do your brows AND your hair.

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2014 – Watching too much Bravo will make anyone over accessorize and eventually turn them into the bastard love child of Brad Goreski and The Situation.

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2015Josh Duhamel, is that you? And Madame Tussauds’ latest masterpiece is complete.

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But despite all his various looks, what has always remained true is that when you have a ridiculously jacked up body like this,  no one really cares about yo weave. Whoa!

Joey Lawrence's new weaveJust like a Beyonce album, Joey Lawrence – aka the original JLAW – went rogue and dropped his brand new highlighted & grown out weave without warning or any prior promotional campaign. Finasteride works, y’all!

The 38-year-old made the game-changing statement while attending the 21st birthday of blonde person Taylor Spreitler on Saturday.

In order to not cause widespread panic, the former child star made sure his geometrically correct stenciled eyebrows and Benjamin Moore golden bronze tan remained completely in tact.

Joey Lawrence

But adding to the pandemonium, the buff actor also took the opportunity to attempt to re-acclimate his younger brothers Andrew and Matthew Lawrence into society.

None of us will ever be the same again. Whoa.

The Lawrence Brothers