2010 VMAs
admin
- September 14, 2010
- Award Shows, VMA
10 Things learned watching the 2010 MTV VMAs
1. Kanye and Taylor Swift really need to get over it, because we did …12 months ago!
2. There was no red carpet last night, other than the area rug directly underneath Lady Gaga’s beef carpaccio panty liners.
3. Travie McCoy, Jason Derulo and B.o.B are not the same person.
4. I just don’t get the allure of gender illusionist Justin Bieber.
5. Jared Leto’s music career is officially more successful than his acting one.
6. I am living for Florence and the Machine. LIVING!
7. Nicki Minaj is Lady Gaga … with a sense of humor and a booty! Child!
8. Gaga really has to stop with the ‘little monsters’nonsense. No, seriously.
9. There were more redheads running amok at the Nokia Theater last night than in that entire MIA video. Ginger Power!
10. The construction crew at the Nokia should get an award for safely assembling and removing all the scaffolding … from around Cher’s face.
Levonia: Ascension / Black Out Party
- August 16, 2010
- Faces, Levonia Jenkins
Levonia in LA
- March 28, 2010
- Faces, Levonia Jenkins
2010 Oscars
- March 8, 2010
- Award Shows, Oscars
Things learned watching the 82nd Annual Academy Awards:
1. A lot of powerful people in Hollywood really hate James Cameron.
2. The ABC pre-show proves there’s a very good reason why Kathy Ireland was a model.
3. Silver and gold are the colors to wear this season … if you want to look washed out.
4. With apologies to Miley, Zoe and Kristen, but the Oscars just aren’t the same without real Hollywood glamazon presenters like Nicole, Halle and Salma.
5. Musical opening, Brat pack reunion, Taylor, Zac, Jake and Ryan, horror movie tribute and So You Think You Can Dance. Had there been a runway walk off I’d swear I had produced last night’s show. Thank you, Adam Shankman.
6. More than just the accountants at Price Waterhouse know the results before airtime. How else to explain notoriously snubbed director Babs presenting to Kathryn Bigelow, Tom Hanks referencing war pic winner “Casablanca” moments before announcing “Hurt Locker’s” win or even former standup comic turned Oscar winner Robin Williams presenting to standup comic turned Oscar winner Mo’Nique?
7. If Mimi & JLo are both on the Oscar red carpet you have ask them about “Glitter” and “Gigli”! Where’s Joan Rivers when you need her?!
8. I thought “Mom, I’m gay” we’re the most difficult words I’ve ever had to utter until … “Sandra Bullock, Oscar winner.”
The Davey beat Goliath Oscars. The War of the Roses Oscars. The Sandra Bullock Won Oscars. Whatever you want to call ‘em, I thought it was one of the faster paced shows in a while…which isn’t really say much! So whether you watched them or not (some people don’t watch the Oscars???) here are my thoughts on last night’s Gay Super Bowl. As always feel free to send me your thoughts and comments. And if you want to be added to my distribution list shoot me an email with your info at:
thejohnnylopez@gmail.com.
-Johnny Lopez
2010 Grammys
- February 2, 2010
- Award Shows, Grammy
Things learned from watching the 2010 Grammy Awards:
1. Thanks to Gaga, Beyonce and the Black Eyed Peas, all future pop performances must include background dancers that look like characters straight out of “Star Wars.”
2. Kaley Cuoco, who? Simon Baker, what? The Grammys are a great way for CBS to introduce their stars to the 95 and under crowd.
3. If Jamie Foxx asks you to be in his musical number, RUN.
4. Unless you are an accused child molester with a penchant for extreme surgical procedures who overdoses on a myriad of drugs, your Grammy lifetime achievement award will be relegated to a one-line mention prior to introducing future music legends like Ke$ha and Justin Bieber. I’m talking to you, Leonard Cohen and Loretta Lynn.
5. Three dimensional theatrics should be left in the hands of blue 7 foot manimals, because without the 3D glasses all I witnessed was how Paula Abdul sees the world.
6. Lady GaGa on a red carpet is the new ‘80s Cher. It’s not who she’s wearing, but WTF is she wearing.
7. Prior to Colbert’s win, the last time the Best Comedy Album award was televised was … never.
8. There’s a better chance that I’m Prince and Paris Jackson’s biological father than Jacko.
9. Album of the year? OMG! ‘Memba when people bought those?!
10. The Taylor Swift backlash starts now.
2010 Golden Globes
- January 18, 2010
- Award Shows, Golden Globes
Things learned watching the 2010 Golden Globes:
1. Nobody – especially the staff at the Beverly Hills Hilton — watches weather reports in Los Angeles.
2. Screw an Oscar or a private jet, in Hollywood it’s all about your umbrella assistant!
3. Everybody had ruffles on their dresses, and I don’t mean the potato chips on Precious’ gown.
4. Blame Snooki, but orange bronzer is the new Pandora blue.
5. All a celebrity needs to do to not feel guilty for spending $5000 on an outfit, riding in a limo and drinking bottles of Dom in the middle of a world crisis is … slap on a pin.
6. After being exhumed from the LaBrea Tar Pits and injected with 1000 cc of formaldehyde, Cher has miraculously become her own Avatar.
7. If Mo’Nique, Drew Barrymore and Sandra Bullock can win acting awards, so can you.
8. That guy who co-wrote (not directed) “Up in the Air” is kinda sorta hot.
9. Due to the weather, arrivals should have been held underneath Mariah Carey’s boobs.
10. With Avatar and The Hangover winning, the Globes have officially become the Kids Choice Awards. Somebody slime Julia Roberts, stat!
I love the Globes because it’s the one award show where the biggest stars of film and TV sit in the same room … and totally ignore each other. So whether you watched or not, I’m sending you my recap. Feel free to send me know your thoughts, comments and observations at thejohnnylopez@gmail.com. Until the SAG Awards next week!
-Johnny Lopez
2009 AMAs
- November 23, 2009
- American Music Awards, Award Shows
Things learned watching the 2009 American Music Awards:
1. Taylor Swift can do no wrong. America, meet your first woman President.
2. Either the show took place in Thunderdome or we are in the midst of a serious post-apocalyptic fashion moment.
3. Thanks in part to Janet, Kelly Clarkson, Alicia Keys & Mary J, tonight’s performance was presented in HD – hip definition.
4. Sofia Vergara is the hottest woman in the world.
5. Chaz Bono has caused a celebrity gender reassignment trend, as Val Kilmer has quietly become Kathleen Turner.
6. As proven by Jacko, Britney and Whitney, only two things that can resuscitate a stalled pop music career – death and rehab.
7. Everyone has jumped on the Lady GaGa tip and has turned the pop music landscape into one big avant-garde art installation piece. No performance/video is complete without a series of masks, robotic alien-like creatures or spastic bodily twitches.
8. “Idol” has hijacked the AMAs. With so many former American Idols winners and losers performing (and not lip-synching), I was half-way expecting to see Fantasia and Taylor Hicks up there too… assuming they got their Olive Garden shifts covered.
9. One word – Jermajesty.
Forget VH1, with Janet, JLo, Rihanna, Shakira, Whitney, Gaga, Carrie, Kelly & Glambert, last night was divas live. So whether you thought J.Lo bit it more than Adam or if Whitney’s voice wasn’t all it’s cracked out to be, here is the recap.
-Johnny Lopez
thejohnnylopez@gmail.com
2009 VMAs
- September 14, 2009
- Award Shows, VMA
Things learned by watching the 2009 VMAs
1. The VMAs should always be in NYC. The Paramount Lot can’t compete with the New York Metropolitan Transit Authority.
2. In case of emergency, Madonna’s cheeks may be used as a flotation device.
3. Pink and Shakira need to have a serious talk with the House of Balmain. Where’s Rachel Zoe when you need her?
4. Camel toe is the new black. See Beyonce, GaGa, Amber Rose, Katy Perry, Pink.
5. If you didn’t know who Taylor Swift was before, now ya do! No sex tape or flashing her Britney necessary.
6. Despite my better judgment and the fact that “Twilight” was total BASURA, I still kinda wanna see “New Moon.” Damn you, Jacob!
7. As proved by her bloody performance, Lady GaGa is not a man … PERIOD.
Minus Russell Brand, it was the best VMAs in a long time — and all it took was the death of an icon and the public humiliation of a teenager to make it happen. If you didn’t catch the show, watch it the same place you view music videos … on Youtubes.
As always, feel free to send me your comments and feedback at thejohnnylopez@gmail.com. Enjoy!
The Birth of Levonia Jenkins
- August 24, 2009
- Faces, Levonia Jenkins