Drag Queen | J.LO | The Johnny Lopez

The premiere of a new season of RuPaul’s Drag Race always leaves my head spinning.

So many kweens, so many names, so many attempts at being memorable!

Especially after Miss Vanjie‘s (Welcome back!!!) now-legendary turn flaunting all them cookies in just one episode last year, every girl came into season 11 with a bible of catchphrases, one-liners and shtick. I’m talking to you Silky Nutmeg Ganache!

Silky was my fave kween …for the first five minutes of the episode. But by the commercial break, her thirsty AF antics left a bad taste in everyone’s mouth. Gurl, breathe & simma down. Nobody ever wants that much dessert, evah. TRUST!

And finally, there’s our eliminated queen Soju. While pulling off another Vanjie-style star-making coup after sashaying away in the first episode is nearly impossible, bequeathing the world with her unforgettable “taint cyst” is quite the valiant effort. Annyeonghi gaseyo, Miss Soju. Miss Soju.  MISS …SO JU!

Now while I go change my last name to Davenport, check out the celebrity dopplegänger realness from episode 1.

 

MISS VANJIE – LA TOYA JACKSON

The children love Miss Vanjie so much you’d think we were at Neverland. #TooSoon

BROOKE LYNN HYTES – PINK

Brooke Lynn is starting on such a high that we may be seeing some aerial gynmastics soon.

NINA WEST – HEAT MISER

It’s the year without a Santa Claus for Nina. She’s too much!

SILKY NUTMEG GANACHE – OPRAH

No standing O for Silky’s thirsty behavior, but we are gonna need a sitdown interview.

SUGA CAIN – MEGHAN McCAIN

By the looks of it, Suga’s dreams won’t be aborted anytime soon.

YVIE ODDLY – SLICK WOODS

I’ve only got one thing to say: You betta werk, Supermodel!

A’KERIA C. DAVENPORT – LIL’ KIM

Something tells me A’keria can make a Sprite can disappear in her mouth.

ARIEL VERSACE – PEG BUNDY

Every big haired gurl from Jersey wants to be married with children, okrrrrr.

SCARLET ENVY – TAMMIE BROWN

Proof that being Pearl‘s daughter is not the weirdest thing about Scarlet.

PLASTIQUE TIARA – JESSICA ALBA

We need to be honest about Plastique’s chances.

HONEY DAVENPORT – KENYA MOORE

This New York queen is gone with the wind fabulous, hunty!

RA’JAH O’HARA – RUTH POINTER (SISTERS)

I’m so excited to see what Ra’jah can do this season, sis.

MERCEDES IMAN DIAMOND – J.LO

Don’t be fooled by the rocks that she’s got, she’s still early ’90s Jenny from the block.

KAHANNA MONTRESE – EVE

Kahanna’s skills are the talk, so I’m hoping Ru will let her blow ya mind.

SOJU – BETTE MIDLER

The power of Drag Race means a cyst on your taint can still lead to outrageous fortune.

Who are you rooting for? So far, it’s still all about Vanjie for me.

 

ICYMI: RPDR ALL-STARS 4 PREMIERE – CELEB LOOKALIKES

 

RPDR All Stars 4

With all the deplorable crap going on in the world, one thing we can be thankful for is being gifted two All-Stars seasons in one calendar year!  As it’s only been 11 months since the premiere of All-Stars 3 in January, many of us are finally recovering from the subsequent controversial crowning of Shangela Trixie Mattel months later. HalleNOOOOO!

With that travesty behind us, here are three things I loved about the premiere of RuPaul’s Drag Race All-Stars 4.

  1. Brown Cow stunning! Monique Heart proved that with a fierce wig and a house beat anything can be fabulous. HalleMOO!
  2. Winter is coming, but for Farrah Moan it’s all about THE FALL. Ouch! It was the death drop heard around the world & that I rewound five times to watch.  Guess her face isn’t the only thing beat for the gawds.
  3.  Give me some Latrice Royale all day, every day! #GGGGG

Without further ado, here are the All-Stars 4 celebrity twinsies.

Monique Heart may or may not be morally corrupt, but Faye Resnick has definitely got snatch game!

Monique Heart/Faye Resnick

Naomi Smalls is a replicant & her legs cut like a Blade …Runner.

Naomi Smalls/Daryl Hannah Blade Runner

Lawd have mercy, Trinity Taylor is full of Grace. Every girl knows a good tuck is a kween’s best friend!

Trinity The Tuck/Debra Messing

Latrice Royale is a big Star, so take a little time to enjoy this view.

Latrice Royale. Star Jones

Valentina is pretty Sly … Stallone’s wife.

You’re perfect. You’re beautiful. You look like Jennifer Flavin. You’re a model!

Valentina/Jennifer Flavin.

Is Farrah Moan a NYC nightlife sensation? No, but she is trying to keep it real, Amanda Lepore real.

Farrah Moan/Amanda LePore

Gia Gunn came back looking like a total Fox.

Gia Gunn/Megan Fox

The rumors are true, Monet X Change loves Tina!

Monet X Change/Tina Turner

Manila Luzon is so animated this season. She’s a real comic! #Nancy

Manila Luzon/Nancy

Sorry haters, but Jasmine Masters is an iconic comedian. Roo roo roo!

Jasmine MAsters/Arsenio Hall

Now sashay away until next week!

Follow me:  https://www.instagram.com/thejohnnylopez/

 

 

 

 

 

The season 10 premiere of RuPaul’s Drag Race proved these chilrin are snatched for their lives!

Three things I loved about the premiere: 1. Seeing the all the queens from previous seasons. This is how you launch the first episode of the season. 2. Christina Aguilera giving us drag queen realness. It makes sense since for some of these kids, the Moulin Rouge video was their first introduction to drag. 3. Vanessa Vanje Mateo’s commentary. Someone give her a YouTube recap series stat.

Three things I didn’t like about the premiere: 1. Vanje went home. 2. Vanje went home. 3. Vanje went home. I don’t like these cookies!

Here are this week’s drag superstar twinsies!

Aquaria is a Real Housewife of NY!

She’s lip syncing to this Medley… Dorinda Medley.

 

Mayhem Miller, how do you like this COOKIE?!

This queen is ready for her Empire.

 

Miz Cracker, you’re perfect, you’re beautiful, you look like Linda Evangelista.

Sorry Valentina!

 

Monet X Change is a Master of None.

But she may snatch trophies like Lena Waithe.

 

Kameron Michaels‘ muscles will VanderPUMP you up!

Yes, SUR.

 

Vanessa Vanje Mateo — Miss Jackson, if you’re nasty!

 

Kalorie Karbdashian Williams … with a Z!

 

The Vixen is looking for a new love! (Jody Watley)

 

Monique Heart is having a Ball. (Lucille Ball)

 

Dusty Ray Bottoms — Hey Kitty Girl!

Now & Forever! #Cats

 

Yuhua Hamasaki wins the Minnie challenge!

 

Blair St. Clair has shown her evil side. (Ursa)

It’s going to take a superman to beat her!

 

Eureka O’Hara – This Runway look is a winner.

Let’s hope her sewing skills are half as good as Ashley Nell Tipton’s.

 

Asia O’Hara has drawn True Blood. (Lafayette)

Side note: I couldn’t find a template with 14 pics so had to pick one queen to leave out of the composite. No shade Asia. It was just the luck of the draw.

ICYMI: Here’s the one drag celebrity side-by-sides I did for All-Stars 3:

For more pop culture recaps, reads & shade, makes sure you download the latest episode of SCREAMING INTO TRAFFIC podcast! Available on iTunes, Google Play, Spotify and Friendster!

Or just listen to it right here!

This week’s RuPaul’s Drag Race celeb side-by-sides! #DragRace

 

 

Nina Bo’Nina BrownLil’ Kim

 


Sasha VelourSylvia Miles (Wall St, Sex & the City, Midnight Cowboy)

 


(Salt-n-)PeppermintSandy “Pepa” Denton

 


Trinity TaylorPriscilla Presley

 


Alexis Michelle Marge Simpson

 


Shea Culee – British DJ/promoter Jodie Harsh

 

Episode 9 Recap 

Episode 8 Recap

Episode 5 Recap

Episode 4 Recap

Episode 3 Recap

Episode 2 Recap

Episode 1 Recap

Sorry kids, Valentina is gone. Now get over it!

Three things I loved: 1. The club kid herstory & runway. Long live ’90s NYC nightlife! 2. Michelle Visage‘s cape lewk while judging the pilot challenge. 10s across the board, henny!     3. Sasha reading Trinity for finally making a joke. Keep shade alive, children!

Three things I hated: 1. Nina Bo’Nina‘s paranoia. Conspiracy theory killed the drag superstar! 2. Valentina’s laziness. A kween can’t live by face alone! 3. The fan outrage over the Ariana Grande lip sync song choice. Classic or new, hit or obscure, they all get the song ahead of time & can memorize. End. Of. Story. Sashay away!

And here are this week’s Snatch Game wannabe celeb dopplegangers.

1. Valentina is a Twisted Sister.

She’s not gonna take it anymore … because she’s gone!

 

2. Nina Bo’Nina has a Tiny chance of winning.

But it looks like her hopes have really dyed.

 

3. Sasha Velour is serving Earth’s first supermodel Janice Dickinson realness.

An eye for an eye!

 

4. Valentina is a Real Housewife of Orange County.

Goodbye Our Lady of Guadalupe, hello ‘Jesus Jugs’ Alexis Bellino.

 

5. Nina Bo’Nina Brown is a Real Housewife of New Jersey.

That’s Nina Bo’Nina Brown Gorga Giudice to you!

 

6. Shea Culee is an American Idol & a Dreamgirl.

And you’re gonna love her!

 

7. Peppermint goes to the Max!

She’s the HBIC is this House!

 

8. Trinity Taylor serves a Young Pope.

Sisters are doing it for … Diane Keaton.

 

9. Alexis Michelle isn’t beating around the (Barbara) Bush.

This lady is getting old fast!

 

EPISODE 8 Recap & Celeb Side-By-Sides

EPISODE 5 Recap & Celeb Side-By-Sides

EPISODE 4 Recap & Celeb Side-by-Sides

EPISODE 3 Recap & Celeb Side-By-Sides

EPISODE 2 Recap & Celeb Side-By-Sides

EPISODE 1 Recap & Celeb Side-by-Sides

 

For more pop culture recaps, reads & shade, makes sure you download the latest episode of SCREAMING INTO TRAFFIC! This week we’re making noize about the new ‘Will & Grace‘ trailer, Master of None, that ‘American Gods’ scene, Rompers for men & that show about the Abbey.

itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/screaming-into-traffic/id1052412883?mt=2

This week RuPaul’s Drag Race was all about the fairy tales.

And while some of the kweens got dragged for their princess lewks, (ahem, Farrah Moan, Aja, Kimora Blac) I think they all failed with that whole come up with an interesting sidekick thing. Well, minus Nina Bo’ Nina Brown, who continues to be fierce AF!

Three things I loved this week:  1. Cynthia Lee Fontaine‘s “cucu” explanation. Culo. Caca. Cucu! By the way, still not sick of it. 2. Alexis Michelle reading the Instagram children for their over-reliance on Facetune. Preach! I’ll say it again, If I can tell you used Facetune, you failed! 3. And, on a serious note, managing to touch on the Pulse tragedy. 🙏🏽

 

 

Three things I hated this week: 1. Kimora Blac‘s “adjective” failure. (How about idiot & irritating?)  2. Kimora Blac’s zombie Sheena of the Jungle lewk. 3.  Kimora Blac’s lip sync. (Here are some more adjectives: lazy, sad, awful). Sashay away, lady.

Congrats to Aja. She hasn’t won me over, but she did own that performance. Disastah it was not. I’m still holding out for a hero, but Bonnie Tyler would be proud.

And while we are getting closer and closer to Snatch Game, here are the week 3 side-by-sides. This week was the toughest yet. Enjoy!

1.Trinity Taylor has jumped the (left) shark!

She won this week and proved she really is fishy.

 

2. Shea Culee is werking her magic.

Hocus pocus, she could win it all!

 

3. Charlie Hides was Absolutely Fabulous, finally.

But she is a sweetie, darling!

 

4. Eurkea is a screen legend.

Just like Cleopatra, she wants that crown.

 

5. Valentina doesn’t get out of bed for less than $10K.

V is for Vogue!

Yeah, I know Cheyenne Jackson referenced Linda Evangelista, but it’s what I was thinking too. I swear.

 

6. Peppermint is out of this galaxy.

Beam her up, Ru!

 

7. Cynthia Lee Fontaine is a Holly Golightly.

Breakfast at Cucu’s, anyone?

 

8. Aja‘s hair and makeup is scary funny.

Bride of Frankenstein be damned, being compared to Carol Burnett is always a compliment.

 

9. Live with Farrah Moan?

Kelly Ripa, shante you stay.

 

10. Nina Bo’Nina Brown is keeping up with the Jones.

She’s showing some amazing Grace.

 

11. Alexis Michelle is a plain Jayne.

Jayne Meadows realness, kids.

 

12. Sasha Velour, you little devil, you.

She’s bringing the Community together with this getup. #JimRash

 

13. Kimora Blac is Tonto.

Since tonto in Spanish means dumb, she nailed it. Bye gurl, bye!

But if you want to get some feels for Kimora, check out this week’s UNTUCKED below.

Episode 2 side-by-sides:

Premiere Episode side-by-sides:

Kylie Jenner, Ambassador For NIP+FAB - Photocall And Q&A
She may just be a growing 17-year-old girl, but Kylie Jenner did her best to appear like an adult glamazon by donning fake tracks from her Kylie Hair Kouture weave line, long false eyelashes, loads of face bronzer, deep red paint on her curiously plump lips, makeup conturing to accentuate her underage breasts, a completely age-appropriate exposed black bra, elegant sheer top and a set of fake acrylic coke nails left over from mommie dearest Kris Jenner‘s days at Spago Hollywood in the ’80s … to attend a daytime event for some lotion while unchaperoned in London over the weekend.

Kylie is such a good role model … for contestants on RuPaul’s Drag Race.

FACES-2These absolutely stunning beauties showed up to the 23rd annual DIVAS Simply Singing! HIV/AIDS charity event at Club Nokia in L.A. on Saturday … but only one is in full drag.

While Martha Wash, Kelly Price, Sheryl Lee Ralph, Faith Evans, Luenell, Alex Newell and Tia Mowry worked their pancake makeup and Rite Aid weaves into a frenzy, the only one  servin’ “RuPaul’s Drag Race” realness is …

23rd Annual Divas! Simply Singing!

… the lovely Flame Monroe.

She’s got charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent.