The Hair-volution of Joey Lawrence
After undergoing years of in-weavetro fertilization, Joey Lawrence took to the People’s Choice Awards on Wednesday to proudly debut the latest technological breakthrough in chemically straightened, highlighted and reupholstered comb-overs. Paging Donald Trump!
And while the 38-year-old’s new long and lustrous locks appear to perfectly match his geometrically sculpted brows and dewy, heavily contoured tangerine complexion, Joey has spent decades reinventing his buff, plucked and over styled facade.
Let’s take a look back at Joey’s slow but steady transformation from child star to waxen figurine.
1985 – Even at the age of nine, the adorable Gimme A Break star rocked The Dorothy Hamill better than most.
1992 – His failed singing career (Nothin’ My Love Can’t Fix, anyone?) may have been the missing boy band link between New Kids on the Block and the whole NSYNC/Backstreet Boys era, but there’s no denying he had The Rachel beat by at least two years.
2000 – Who knew the real threat wasn’t Y2K, but the terror wrought on by the spiky, frosted & flat-ironed tips of the early 21st century?! #byebyebye
2006 – While all the It girls were chatting on their Swarovski encrusted Razr phones and flashing their shaved bits outside Hyde, the original JLaw, 30, opted for a bald head, ear bling and enough bronzer to make the then-unknown Kardashians jealous.
2010 – As the rest of the country struggled to make ends meet during the Great Recession, JoJo kept it frugal by cutting back on his tanning appointments and hair dye.
2012 – With Obama elected for a second term, Joey sported hair lengths unseen since the Clinton administrations and got very liberal … with his necklines.
2013 – Joey knows the backwards baseball cap is the sweatpants of beauty regimens because sometimes you’re just too depressed to do your brows AND your hair.
2014 – Watching too much Bravo will make anyone over accessorize and eventually turn them into the bastard love child of Brad Goreski and The Situation.
2015 – Josh Duhamel, is that you? And Madame Tussauds’ latest masterpiece is complete.
But despite all his various looks, what has always remained true is that when you have a ridiculously jacked up body like this, no one really cares about yo weave. Whoa!