The People’s Choice Awards

The People’s Choice Awards – 1/9/06

Ok, I know you didn’t watch this pathetic show, but with the Globes on Monday I wanted to get in the recap mode again. It’s been a while!

You can check out pics of the show here:

Or you can just take my word on it.

As always feel free to agree, disagree, laugh or cry about my musings. Feedback, and donations,are always appreciated.

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My other email is still my regular everyday email—for those of you that have that one.

Until Tuesday morning/afternoon.

-Johnny Lopez

Queen Latifah – I haven’t seen someone look this uncomfortable in a dress since “To Wong Foo.”

Halle Berry – She wins for Fave Female Action Star and all people ever compliment her on is her beauty—so much for winning that Oscar. Remember that? Dissing Bryan Singer by thanking Brett Ratner for finally letting Storm fly this year will only guarantee that her non-X-Men roles will continue to be abominations.

Robin Williams – Someone give the hairy man some Ritalin please. Settle down Mork. You don’t have to prove you can still be ‘funny’ after going to rehab.

Emily Procter – (she’s one of those blonde actresses in one of those CBS crime shows) – 7 years later and peeps are still trying to outdo J.Lo’s Versace Grammy dress. Someone tape those puppies down!

Kenny Chesney – Slowly morphing into the killer in Jeepers Creepers. If you want to know why he never takes his hat off, then you’ve obviously never seen him with his hat off!

LL Cool J – If he’s not gonna be shirtless (like on the cover of his new book) then what’s the point!

Jennifer Aniston – Favorite Female Movie Star. Really? Did anyone see Rumor Has It or Derailed? She actually looked really good and she actually speaks! She’s been so silent all these years –other than in her fabulous films- that I was beginning to wonder. I still don’t understand how someone can have the opportunity to bear Brad Pitt’s spawn and they turned it down. LOCA.

Christina Applegate – Is still alive.

Johnny Depp – via satellite. Um…the only award show he goes to is the Oscars. And rightfully so.

Skeet Ulrich – Was “Scream” really 11 years ago? Did you know he was on a current series? Has he, unlike Brad Rowe, escaped the curse of looking too much like an already established heartthrob? Do you even know what I am talking about?

Katherine Heigl – Poor thing always gets it wrong. Can someone please put her in a simple black dress and be done with it!

The other black guy on “Grey’s Anatomy” that isn’t Isaiah Washington – HOMELESS

Rebecca Gayheart – Vehicular manslaughter never looked so good!

Adam Sandler – I’ve discovered the gay gene and it has nothing to do with fashion sense, witty banter, or the ability to throw a great party. Simply, there are those that find Adam Sandler movies funny (not gay) and those that don’t (gay). Except “The Wedding Singer” which is gay, Gay, GAY! So what are you?

Cameron Diaz – as the lost Olsen Triplet. What happened to her nose? If she’s serious that the reason she’s an actress is “for you” then I’m sure we can all find something to do with her $20 million per film paycheck. I’d pay her to STOP making films.

Ellen DeGeneres – She really is a butch Carson Kressley. Poor Portia. If it wasn’t for award shows Ellen would never show any affection in public. It’s obvious who wears the pants in this household, but someone needs to grow some balls and stop desexualizing themselves. If Letterman and Leno are allowed to flirt with guests, so should Ellen.

Wanda Sykes – Wore pants. You do the math.

Charlie Sheen – He thanked “us” for letting him do what he loves. Coke, hookers and gamble??? Whatever Carlos Estevez.

Vanessa Williams – Ok, I know I don’t watch it but “Ugly Betty” is a drama? Really?

Patrick Dempsey – Proof that you can be a 80s teen film star and still have a big career today. And then there’s Molly Ringwald.

David Duchovny – McDreamy meet McWeeny. What happened? The Echhh Files.

Hayden Panettiere – Jon Benet Ramsey Lives!! Save the Cheerleader indeed. The new Eva Longoria—from unknown to media onslaught in three short months.

Steven Cojocaru – There are no words.

Hannah Montana aka Billy Ray Cyrus’ 14 y.o. daughter – Let’s see how long he can keep her away from Hyde or Koi.

Best R+B song noms – Timberlake, Xtina and Mariah – Of all the R+B hits this year you’re telling me the only nominees you could come up with where 2 blondes and a quadroon! Crazy.

Justin Timberlake – poor Cameron will not be getting his dick in her box anymore.

Eva Longoria – What’s the name of her show that everyone USED to watch? I can’t seem to remember it. Wow, you too?

Vince Vaughn – aka the UNDEAD. The real life Lurch. Is Jen a vampire? Because someone sucked the life out of him. He’s slowly turning into the subway ghost in “Ghost.”