CATS was ridiculous and hysterical and stupid and terrible and absolutely amazing and exactly what I wanted in a Sunday night at the movies after 3 glasses of wine at Stella Barra.

While nothing will ever again reach Showgirls-level awesomeness, I’d place it somewhere near the tragic opulence of “Glitter,” yet miles above the impotent splendor of From Justin to Kelly.

Dame Judi Dench as the queen of the Cats yet looking more like Dog the Bounty Hunter. Iconic!

Oscar winner Jennifer Hudson in a Rite Aid weave and beat serving Levonia Jenkins during her early morning shift on the Christopher Street Piers after a torrential downpour. Legendary!

Sir Ian McKellan giving you Susan Boyle for your nerves. Historic!

Rebel Wilson flaunting her pussy legs while dancing with human-faced cockroaches. Brilliant!

A feline-naked Idris Elba actually looking completely devoid of sex appeal. Impossible!

An anatomically incorrect Jason Derulo. Bizarre!

Basic beyatch goddess Taylor Swift completely stealing the show by flaunting her bubble gum pop catnip in kitten heels. Truth!

I don’t know how this got made but praise the Andrew Lloyd Webber gods that it did. Now and forever #Grateful ????