Archives › Award Shows
2010 Oscars
Things learned watching the 82nd Annual Academy Awards: 1. A lot of powerful people in Hollywood really hate James Cameron. 2. The ABC pre-show proves there’s a very good reason why Kathy Ireland was a model. 3. Silver and gold are the colors to wear this season … if you want to look washed out.…
2010 Grammys
Things learned from watching the 2010 Grammy Awards: 1. Thanks to Gaga, Beyonce and the Black Eyed Peas, all future pop performances must include background dancers that look like characters straight out of “Star Wars.” 2. Kaley Cuoco, who? Simon Baker, what? The Grammys are a great way for CBS to introduce their stars to…
2010 Golden Globes
Things learned watching the 2010 Golden Globes: 1. Nobody – especially the staff at the Beverly Hills Hilton — watches weather reports in Los Angeles. 2. Screw an Oscar or a private jet, in Hollywood it’s all about your umbrella assistant! 3. Everybody had ruffles on their dresses, and I don’t mean the potato chips…
2009 AMAs
Things learned watching the 2009 American Music Awards: 1. Taylor Swift can do no wrong. America, meet your first woman President. 2. Either the show took place in Thunderdome or we are in the midst of a serious post-apocalyptic fashion moment. 3. Thanks in part to Janet, Kelly Clarkson, Alicia Keys & Mary J, tonight’s…
2009 VMAs
Things learned by watching the 2009 VMAs 1. The VMAs should always be in NYC. The Paramount Lot can’t compete with the New York Metropolitan Transit Authority. 2. In case of emergency, Madonna’s cheeks may be used as a flotation device. 3. Pink and Shakira need to have a serious talk with the House of…
2009 Oscars
Things learned from watching the 2009 Tonys Oscars: 1. Musicals are back, except on Broadway. RIP Grease, Gypsy, Hairspray, Spamalot, Spring Awakening. 2. With song & dance numbers, Jackman, Beyonce and “Milk”speeches, it was the gayest Oscars since … last year. So sick of hearing “they were so gay.” Um, it’s the Oscars not NASCAR,…
2009 Grammys
Things learned from watching the 2009 Grammys: 1. Al Green, Boyz II Men, Paul McCartney, Neil Diamond, Smokey Robinson and Robert Plant successfully turned it into the 2009 GRANNYs. 2. If you attend AND perform at the Grammys while 10 months pregnant and on your due date you can wear whatever the fuck you want.…
2009 Golden Globes
Things learned from watching the 2009 Golden Globes: 1. The only thing the Globes love more than Kate Winslet is a rehabbed star’s comeback. With Mickey Rourke and Colin Farrell taking home gold, all that was missing was for Britney Spears to win an award. 2. Sting going brown is the most traumatic television hair…
2008 American Music Awards
Things learned from watching the 2008 AMAs No one actually gets an award at these things. That’s for the end credits, silly. Like the GOP, the VMAs have a lot of strategizing to do for next year. They got served! Pink should perform with everyone. Peeps should be less concerned with their kids being taught…
2008 Emmys
Things I Learned from Watching the 2008 Emmy Awards Only shoot Oprah from the breasts up. Look how many reality show hosts it takes to bore me! Leave the comedy to the professionals. With no A-list celebs (aka film stars) or musical performances of note (sorry Josh Groban), the Emmys are only slightly less…