weave | J.LO | The Johnny Lopez

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Sorry, I ain’t sorry.

Luckily, it’s just for a movie … and I still would.

#MyHusband

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Orange County? New Jersey? Minneapolis-St.Paul?!

For some unknown reason, basic pop star Katy Perry, 30, and former actress Mischa Barton both showed up to separate events on opposite coasts this week decked out like they were at a cattle call for the latest installment of the popular Bravo franchise Andy Cohen’s Drag Race.

Looking like Kyle Richards at the CMAs, Katy got it all wrong yet again by rockin’ a blown out ’60s First Lady weave, chandelier earrings from Teresa Giudice‘s estate auction and a black low-cut Moschino prom dress for the premiere of Jeremy Scott: The People’s Designer in Hollywood.

Meanwhile, Mischa, 52, came out of retirement to do her best Krystle Carrington impersonation in an ’80s Aqua Net™ bouffant ‘do and a red matronly gown from the Vicki Gunvalson collection – available exclusively at the Brea Mall –  for a Toronto Film Festival related event.

This definitely calls for flipping tables, weave pulling and wine fights.

QUEENS
Oh wait, it’s actually just (top row, left to right) 35-year-old Real Housewives of Orange County newbie Lizzie RovsekBasketball Wives LA HBIC Jackie Christie, 45, someone named Carly Robyn Green, age unknown, pink weaved Bad Girls Club alum Natalie Nunn, 30, (bottom row, left to right) struggling dancer/singer/actress Porscha Coleman, 29, ex-Pussycat Dolls member Melody Thornton, 30, Teen Mom turned sex tape disaster Farrah Abraham, 41 23, and buxom former child bride sensation Courtney Stodden, 20, servin’ fish at the listening party for Jason Derulo‘s new album Everything Is 4 in Hollywood on Wednesday.

They are giving you charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent realness!

Moral of this story: Never judge a synthetic weave and beat face for the GAWDS by its cover.

Kylie Jenner, Ambassador For NIP+FAB - Photocall And Q&A
She may just be a growing 17-year-old girl, but Kylie Jenner did her best to appear like an adult glamazon by donning fake tracks from her Kylie Hair Kouture weave line, long false eyelashes, loads of face bronzer, deep red paint on her curiously plump lips, makeup conturing to accentuate her underage breasts, a completely age-appropriate exposed black bra, elegant sheer top and a set of fake acrylic coke nails left over from mommie dearest Kris Jenner‘s days at Spago Hollywood in the ’80s … to attend a daytime event for some lotion while unchaperoned in London over the weekend.

Kylie is such a good role model … for contestants on RuPaul’s Drag Race.

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Here’s Owen Wilson, as male model Hansel McDonald, rockin’ a fantastic, blonde Midwestern soccer mom, blown-out, wispy, shag wig from Lowe’s while filming Zoolander 2 in Rome this weekend (left) — and Michael Jackson‘s ex-wife and the alleged biological mother of two of his children, Debbie Rowe, back in 2005 (right).

Androgyny is so hot right now.

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North Korean supreme leader Kim Jong-un debuted his brand new ‘do and exquisitely manicured brows at a conference on Wednesday,  which appeared to have been inspired by meticulously shaved, waxed and tweezed Jersey Shore guido DJ Pauly D.

Gym. Tan. Labor camps.

But be forewarned, “fresh to death” means something completely different to the 32-year-old dictator.

Lil Kim
The original Queen Bee Lil’ Kim debuted her new insane look — and Rite Aid weave — at a party for something called Galore magazine’s music issue at 1OAK in West Hollywood on Friday.

The startled 40-year-old rap goddess did her best to attempt a facial expression upon catching a glimpse of her latest concoction in the club’s mirror.

After enduring public battles with the likes of Foxy Brown, Nicki Minaj and the law, it now seems Kimberly Denise Jones’ biggest feud is with her hair and makeup team.

She wasn’t kidding when she sang: “I’ve been a lot of places, seen a lot of faces, Ah hell I even f*ck with different races.” – How Many Licks
Lil Kim faces

Joey Lawrence hair evolution
After undergoing years of in-weavetro fertilization, Joey Lawrence took to the People’s Choice Awards on Wednesday to proudly debut the latest technological breakthrough in chemically straightened, highlighted and reupholstered comb-overs. Paging Donald Trump!

And while the 38-year-old’s new long and lustrous locks appear to perfectly match his geometrically sculpted brows and dewy, heavily contoured tangerine complexion, Joey has spent decades reinventing his buff, plucked and over styled facade.

Let’s take a look back at Joey’s slow but steady transformation from child star to waxen figurine.

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1985 – Even at the age of nine, the adorable Gimme A Break star rocked The Dorothy Hamill better than most.

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1992 – His failed singing career (Nothin’ My Love Can’t Fix, anyone?) may have been the missing boy band link between New Kids on the Block and the whole NSYNC/Backstreet Boys era, but there’s no denying he had The Rachel beat by at least two years.

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2000 – Who knew the real threat wasn’t Y2K, but the terror wrought on by the spiky, frosted & flat-ironed tips of the early 21st century?! #byebyebye

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2006 – While all the It girls were chatting on their Swarovski encrusted Razr phones and flashing their shaved bits outside Hyde, the original JLaw, 30, opted for a bald head, ear bling and enough bronzer to make the then-unknown Kardashians jealous.

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2010 – As the rest of the country struggled to make ends meet during the  Great Recession, JoJo kept it frugal by cutting back on his tanning appointments and hair dye.

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2012 – With Obama elected for a second term, Joey sported hair lengths unseen since the Clinton administrations and got very liberal … with his necklines.

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2013 – Joey knows the backwards baseball cap is the sweatpants of beauty regimens because sometimes you’re just too depressed to do your brows AND your hair.

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2014 – Watching too much Bravo will make anyone over accessorize and eventually turn them into the bastard love child of Brad Goreski and The Situation.

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2015Josh Duhamel, is that you? And Madame Tussauds’ latest masterpiece is complete.

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But despite all his various looks, what has always remained true is that when you have a ridiculously jacked up body like this,  no one really cares about yo weave. Whoa!

Kathy Griffin bangsComedian Kathy Griffin was the apparent victim of a violent crime on Monday, when she was assaulted by a set of $2.99 Black & Decker™ dust brush clip-on bangs outside the Late Show with David Letterman in Manhattan.

Despite her visible injuries, the 54-year-old attempted to put on a brave face as she smiled and waved to fans while seemingly unbothered by her Rite-Aid bristle extensions’ uncanny resemblance to Annabelle from The Conjuring.

As a member of the Fashion Police, a full investigation is planned with the perpetrators expected to be punished to the fullest extent of the law.

A rep for Griffin’s hairstylist released a statement saying: “I can’t weave.”

Annabelle