The biggest challenge on RuPaul’s Drag Race this year is finding two kweens who can adequately lip sych. Did they not DVR the last eight 7 seasons (thou shalt not include that Violet Chachki debacle)?!
With this week’s daytime TV challenge – and work room dramz – eating up time, we got a blink and you’ll miss it naughty nighty runway. Wait, was that Aja? Alexis Michelle, where you at?! Valentina, I think I see you.
Three things I loved this week: 1. Nina Bo’ Nina Brown Osama Bin Laden Rodham Clinton Newton John & Eureka‘s ramen weave and ham implants lewks for less segment. “Beef flavor? It’s chicken, bitch!” DEAD! 2. Charlie Hides‘ emotional account of surviving the AIDS crisis. Chilrins, we must never forget! 3. The kween/PA/whoever yelling: “Come on Charlie! Do something, Charlie!” during Charlie’s rigor mortis lip sync of Britney‘s “I Wanna Go.” OBSESSED! I’ve watched it like 10 times. Sashay away, Chuckie baby!
Three things I hated this week: 1. The stunted runway. I need to see the LEWKS! 2. Nina Bo’Nina weirdly edited crying fit on the runway. Huh? What did I miss? Get it together mama. You are the fiercest beyatch in this house! 3. Trinity Taylor‘s fabulous high energy Tawny Kitaen/ Whitesnake (Google her, kids) performance. I hated it because it forced me to like TT! Damn you, RPDR! Shante you stay, Trin … for now.
Now to the #SnatchGame wannabe matter at hand: the week 4 side-by-sides. Enjoy!
1. Nina Bo’Nina Brown doesn’t need no hateration, holleration in this dancery!
What’s the 4-1-1, Miss Nina?!
2. Trinity Taylor — I’m a lawyer!
She better plead the fifth for this Gloria Allred realness.
3. Things are looking Rosie for Aja.
Category is: Boricuas from Brooklyn first time in drags at the ball.
4. Turns out, Charlie Hides is very catty.
Drag Race or not, Charlie gets a lot of work. Jocelyne Wildenstein is my spirit animal.
5. Valentina is living … Lohan.
Don’t get banged up, V. Call an uber!
6. Eureka – You’re terrible, Muriel!
She’s always the bridesmaid …
7. Cynthia Lee Fontaine is a real mutha.
But can we make Keepin’ Up with the KuKu a real thing?!
8. Sasha Velour goes Deeper & Deeper.
She and Shea may have won this week, but there’s only one queen & that’s Madonna.
9. Shea Culee is Robin & stealing from the other gals.
Shea should host GM Heeey!
10. Peppermint is in the spot tonight!
Pepper knows there ain’t nothing wrong with being a Mary.
11. Farrah Moan is still in the running to be America’s Next
Top Model Drag Superstar.
But let’s hope she fares better than Rita Ora. #fired
12. Alexis Michelle is a Real Housewife of Melbourne?
Looks like drag is really big Down Under! #GinaLiano
Extra special mention:
Charlie Hides was sent home, but there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a 50something queen who lip syncs.
Now get all the feels with this week’s UNTUCKED below:
This week RuPaul’s Drag Race was all about the fairy tales.
And while some of the kweens got dragged for their princess lewks, (ahem, Farrah Moan, Aja, Kimora Blac) I think they all failed with that whole come up with an interesting sidekick thing. Well, minus Nina Bo’ Nina Brown, who continues to be fierce AF!
Three things I loved this week: 1. Cynthia Lee Fontaine‘s “cucu” explanation. Culo. Caca. Cucu! By the way, still not sick of it. 2. Alexis Michelle reading the Instagram children for their over-reliance on Facetune. Preach! I’ll say it again, If I can tell you used Facetune, you failed! 3. And, on a serious note, managing to touch on the Pulse tragedy. 🙏🏽
Three things I hated this week: 1. Kimora Blac‘s “adjective” failure. (How about idiot & irritating?) 2. Kimora Blac’s zombie Sheena of the Jungle lewk. 3. Kimora Blac’s lip sync. (Here are some more adjectives: lazy, sad, awful). Sashay away, lady.
Congrats to Aja. She hasn’t won me over, but she did own that performance. Disastah it was not. I’m still holding out for a hero, but Bonnie Tyler would be proud.
And while we are getting closer and closer to Snatch Game, here are the week 3 side-by-sides. This week was the toughest yet. Enjoy!
1.Trinity Taylor has jumped the (left) shark!
She won this week and proved she really is fishy.
2. Shea Culee is werking her magic.
Hocus pocus, she could win it all!
3. Charlie Hides was Absolutely Fabulous, finally.
But she is a sweetie, darling!
4. Eurkea is a screen legend.
Just like Cleopatra, she wants that crown.
5. Valentina doesn’t get out of bed for less than $10K.
V is for Vogue!
Yeah, I know Cheyenne Jackson referenced Linda Evangelista, but it’s what I was thinking too. I swear.
6. Peppermint is out of this galaxy.
Beam her up, Ru!
7. Cynthia Lee Fontaine is a Holly Golightly.
Breakfast at Cucu’s, anyone?
8. Aja‘s hair and makeup is scary funny.
Bride of Frankenstein be damned, being compared to Carol Burnett is always a compliment.
9. Live with Farrah Moan?
Kelly Ripa, shante you stay.
10. Nina Bo’Nina Brown is keeping up with the Jones.
She’s showing some amazing Grace.
11. Alexis Michelle is a plain Jayne.
Jayne Meadows realness, kids.
12. Sasha Velour, you little devil, you.
She’s bringing the Community together with this getup. #JimRash
13. Kimora Blac is Tonto.
Since tonto in Spanish means dumb, she nailed it. Bye gurl, bye!
But if you want to get some feels for Kimora, check out this week’s UNTUCKED below.
Premiere Episode side-by-sides:
This week’s RuPaul’s Drag Race revealed the return of Cynthia Lee Fontaine and her infamous “cucu” as the 14th contestant. #TeamCuCu
While I’m glad CLF is doing much better following her liver cancer diagnosis, I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was secretly rooting for Ru & crew to throw first season viewers a bone with the return of Nina Flowers!
Three things I loved about this episode: RuPaul back in drag (we can all exhale now, henny), Michelle Visage looking more sickening than evah (supamodel of the world!), and hearing the word “cucu” cackled across my TV 30 times in 60 minutes. For some reason I don’t tire of it …yet!
Three things I hated about this episode: Lisa Kudrow‘s three second appearance. Bring back Valerie Cherish as a judge. We all need to see that! One of the kweens (Trinity? Shea? can’t remember) telling Cynthia “it’s crazy that you could die at any moment.” Gee, thanks for that! And lastly, the worst lip sync in drag herstory. With the B-52’s watching in dismay, both ladies were tin roof BUSTED. Regardless, I still think Jaymes was the true winner of that debacle. Kimora Blac’s attitude needs to sashay away. Plus I lived for Jaymes’ cheerleading roll. #JusticeForJaymesMansfield
And since I can’t stop my side-by-side addiction, here are the kweens and their episode 2 lookalikes. #HowManyWeeksUntilSnatchGame
1. Cynthia Lee Fontaine … Is Villainous?
Ok, she may really by a sweetheart, but her cucu was totally giving off Ursa from Superman II vibes.
2. Aja really is fashion!
The Brooklyn kween is giving Maya Rudolph, Gina Gershon & Penelope Cruz a run for their biopic money, dahling!
3. Speaking of Penny, Valentina may just CRUZ to the finish line.
For your consideration … V is gorgeous in any language.
4. Shea Culee is a proud Mary!
Don’t tell Ike, but Shea has a hit on her hands with that classic early ’70s Tina Turner wig. Rollin’!
5. Eurkea is a doll!
With apologies to Katya & Trump’s Kremlin Klan, but this week Eureka is the only Russian plaything we want.
6. Alexis Michelle has us tickled P!nk!
Fierce, but she better get this party started if she wants to last in the game.
7. Farrah Moan goes full Xtina on us.
Despite being a Vegas gal, Farrah still needs to show me how you Burlesque.
8. Nina Bo’Nina Brown Is a Babe.
Nina doesn’t need a Baywatch lifeguard, cuz she already got her flotation devices on lock. Also, Traci Bingham — ‘memba her?
9. Trinity Taylor is Robyn the competition
But will she wind up dancing on her own off the stage?
10. Peppermint is so beyond …Thunderdome.
We don’t need another hero, P.
11. Sasha Velour, supermodel of the world!
When you rock a lewk as good as iconic 85-year-old supermodel Carmen Dell’Orefice, then shante you stay as long as you want. Yes, ma’am!
12. Charlie Hides is having Nun of this!
Put your paws down, Sister. Gaga was last week!
13. Jaymes Mansfield wasn’t made-for-TV.
She can now join Loni Anderson in the failed Mansfield wannabes club.
14. Kimora Blac some way, somehow lives to see another day. Next!
She Done Already Done Brought It On … so watch this week’s UNTUCKED below.
Just like gay neighborhoods and bars, RuPaul’s Drag Race has been gentrified, renovated and upgraded from Mondays on Logo to Fridays on Vh1 for it’s season 9 premiere (that’s assuming you count season 7 as legit & not just a Dallas/Bobby Ewing
nightmare dream!). While it’s great to have the show embraced by a larger audience (and in HD), I can’t help but wonder if Logo is being slowly put out to pasture just like a 45-year-old on Grindr! We can’t have nice things.
Well, the latest edition came decked out with all the Restoration Hardware bells & whistles including a “Fierce Fridays” Vh1 live show with Wendy Williams & Ross Mathews, its biggest celeb judge to date — Mother Monster herself Lady Gaga – and a strangely drag-free RuPaul episode. You betta werk them weaves in the next episodes, Mama Ru!
Three things I loved about this episode: Gaga’s drag queen entrance, everything about Nina Bo’ Nina Brown (especially the red lace Gaga lewk!) and Trinity Taylor saying being a pageant queen is “astigmatism.” Check that eyeliner, hunty!
Three things I hated about this episode: Aja‘s grating Brooklyn millennial hipster overconfidence, most of the hometown outfits (Statue of Liberty is the new Madonna kimono-no-no!) & the proliferation of plastic surgery on these young kweens. Cue RiRi: Work. Work. Work. Work. Work. Work!
And since Snatch Game won’t be for a while, I couldn’t help but think the gals were already channeling celebrity doppelgängers this week. See what you think.
1. Peppermint Is a Predator! She is gonna slay the competition!
2. Valentina — Hey Girl! Ryan Gosling better check that tuck.
3. Eureka – Um, HELLO! Give her all the trophies for those quick one-liners so far, stat!
4. Charlie Hides Is Going Through GROWING PAINS! At 52, Charlie is the chicest soccer mom on TV since Joanna Kerns. Let’s just hope the children ease up on the tired “old” jokes, because being ageist is the real drag!
5. Farrah Moan has a lot of blonde ambition. More Courtney Stodden than Aguilera if you ask me, but this Vegas body queen still ain’t the breast in show.
6. Alexis Michelle Ponies Up. She’s a Broadway queen, but right now Alexis’ voice isn’t the only thing that seems a little horse.
7. Shea Couleé Is From … NEW YORK? She’s really from Chicago, but …
8. Trinity Taylor — Young & Beautiful? Trin is not only serving Lana Del Rey, but also giving you Karen Black, Lainie Kazan and I swear some Gloria Allred. Google them, chilrins!
9. Kimora Black Is D.O.A (Dead or Alive). Kimora your cocky bitterness spins me round like a tired record! RIP Pete Burns.
10. Jaymes Mansfield Is Pitch Perfect. She’s doing a Divine impersonation of Rebel Wilson.
11. Nina Bo ‘Nina Brown‘s Makeup Needs a Lil’ Help. Right now there’s no question who is the Queen
12. Aja Is Bewitching. I can already tell I’m gonna need Endora to whip up a spell to tolerate this child.
13. Sasha Velour Is a Mystery. She’s Moby meets Lori Petty meets Sinead with a Burger King crown. But what do you think? And who ya think the 14th queen is? Let me know below.
Oh My Gaga! If you haven’t already, watch UNTUCKED below.
Oh wait, it’s actually just (top row, left to right) 35-year-old Real Housewives of Orange County newbie Lizzie Rovsek, Basketball Wives LA HBIC Jackie Christie, 45, someone named Carly Robyn Green, age unknown, pink weaved Bad Girls Club alum Natalie Nunn, 30, (bottom row, left to right) struggling dancer/singer/actress Porscha Coleman, 29, ex-Pussycat Dolls member Melody Thornton, 30, Teen Mom turned sex tape disaster Farrah Abraham,
41 23, and buxom former child bride sensation Courtney Stodden, 20, servin’ fish at the listening party for Jason Derulo‘s new album Everything Is 4 in Hollywood on Wednesday.
They are giving you charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent realness!
Moral of this story: Never judge a synthetic weave and beat face for the GAWDS by its cover.
RuPaul’s Drag Race season six runner-up Adore Delano borrowed a synthetic weave from The Shauna Sand Malibu Country Mart Parking Lot Collection™ and a sleek pair of Susan Boyle‘s industrial grade pantyhose and did a flawless Ke$ha impersonation at the L.A. stop of the Battle of the Seasons Condragulations Tour on Thursday.
Polar caps may be melting, airliners have gone missing and there’s a war in the House of Deréon, but my faith in humanity has been completely restored by RuPaul crowning Bianca Del Rio America’s Next Drag Superstar. Sometimes nice guys don’t finish last, even when they are reading you to filth!
While I do love Adore Delano with her drags to riches self-empowerment Cinderfella fairytale story, and no one can deny that Courtney Act sho iz pretty, neither could compare with the unstoppable force and unwavering brilliance of BDR’s rapid-fire wit, sewing skills and almost flawless execution of challenges.
Even when teamed against two Idol opponents with stellar voices, Bianca proved she didn’t need to know how to sing to hit a high note as she stole the show with her stand-out verse of the mutha fuckin’ Top Three number.
Adore became a star this season, while Courtney was so busy telling us how great she is that she actually forgot to show us. But Bianca didn’t have to learn her worth or endlessly talk up her game. A true champion never does.
In the end, B didn’t win the crown and Ru didn’t give it to her—she simply claimed what was rightfully hers from the start. And to do that definitely takes charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent.
Here are 10 things learned watching the season six finale of RuPaul’s Drag Race:
10. For RPDR it does get better! Viacom (Logo’s parent company) has finally shown the network’s lone hit some love with an over-the-top finale that had a real budget, featuring a proper stage, backup dancers and more wigs and sequined gowns in the audience than a Real Housewives casting call. Bravo!
9. There’s a reason certain kweens go home first. Kelly Mantle and Magnolia Crawford (or was it Peg Bundy and Patsy Stone?) had three months (actually longer since the show was taped last summer) to come up with an amazing one-liner to make themselves even remotely more memorable or endearing, and their vegan/nose jokes were all that they could come up with. Sashay away.
8. With her Grace Jones-meets-Dynasty’s Dominique Devereaux swagger, Vivacious needs to be runway walk mentor on every future season of RPDR. MUTHA needs to ‘give hips for your nerves’ to America on a weekly basis! I wanna learn whatever she’s teaching.
7. There’s something fishy about Gia Gunn, Laganja Estranja and Darienne Lake … and it’s that they all got nicer! Apparently reality TV does a c*nty attitude good. Sometimes the only way to really see who you are is to watch yourself on television. It’s the most likable and least irritating the three of them have ever been. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but shanté you stay!
6. Trinity K. Bonet is a white chick. No, seriously, she was serving Shawn and Marlon Wayans in White Chicks realness. All she needs is Iggy Azalea on board and they’ve got the sequel in the bag.
5. Televised marriages of all kind (gay, straight, Kardashian) must stop immediately. The sentiment may be there, but just like Britney’s wigs, they cheapen everything. And by the way, condragulations to Joslyn Fox’s fiancé, Andre—you just married your lover’s alter ego!
4. Courtney and Chaz Bono’s bizarre and semi-sexual relationship has the makings of a CBS sitcom. But forget Kevin James and Leah Remini, because they give new meaning to the King of Queens.
3. Adore and Laganja’s televised confrontation was painful to watch … and not just because of their raw, pancake-free mugs! While having it take place in what looked to be the basement of a Food 4 Less in Van Nuys didn’t help, bringing them in to watch their emotional fight in front of cameras came off a bit too gratuitous. But in the end it made you adore Adore even more as she refused to play up the dramz on-screen and actually took the conversation where it needed to be—in private. Now that’s keepin’ it real!
2. Michelle Visage is not having Laganja. No way. No how. That stare will cut you. She was giving facial expression for the GAWDS! The contestants may all be playing nice now, but MV don’t have to. All tea, all shade. Okkrrrr!
1. They really need to reveal the winner LIVE. Taping all three possible outcomes leaves the newly crowned drag superstar producing a reaction more typical of being told you just won a free foot long at Subway, which actually may have been Bebe Zahara Benet’s grand prize in Season 1! Minus her crocodile tears, Bianca couldn’t have seemed less enthused. Take your rhinestone scepter and smile, gurl! Also, I normally object to its stereotypical overuse in gay club scenes in film and TV shows, but if ever there was a time for dropping confetti from the ceiling, it’s after winning a $100K on a televised drag competition! Trust!
It’s down to the final four, and the contestants are really starting to wig out as they shoot RuPaul’s latest music video. Check out the most outrageous thangs from last night’s final elimination before the finale episode.
Courtney Hack So Logo must be editing out some amazing footage of Courtney, right? I mean, can she really be so delusional that she has no clue whatsoever that she hasn’t been even remotely as fierce as she think she has? Maybe she’s convinced she’s still competing in some Australian drag competition television series, because the gurl is bananas. The simple fact is that she’s a man that can look like a gorgeous woman, but that alone doesn’t make a good drag queen. Where are the flawless performances, sassy one-liners or even this so-called amazing Idol voice of hers? All I see are exquisite legs, expensive wigs and contrived speeches. Plus, she doesn’t get that beneath all of Bianca Del Rio’s bitchy comments lies heart and truth, two things she doesn’t express in the least. Congratulations, Courtney, you have somehow managed to polish all the emotional realness from your act.
Ru are you? She always gives good tuck, but this week Ru got his panties in a wad to channel his inner Yul Brenner in The King and I as the eye patch-wearing photographer and a ‘70s Electric Company-era Morgan Freeman to play Charles in the “Sissy That Walk” acting challenge. Even after all these years the HBIC can still give you butch queen first time in man drag at the ball.
Adore-able Producers are making their case for the metamorphosis of Adore Delano from the Azusa boy in a Rite-Aid wig to the fully realized confident drag supastar that she is. After winning last week, and with not a single needle and thread required on this episode, she pretty much aced all of this week’s performance challenges. She also simultaneously produced just the right amount of tears—and heart-wrenching speeches—to win over Ru. Further working in her favor, and to the dismay of Courtney and Bianca, the show is known for loving an unpolished queen (Tyra Sanchez, Sharon Needles, Jinkx Monsoon). So unless her Twitter fans fuck it up, it appears in two weeks that her ‘trashy girl aesthetic’ may finally have a good reason to party. Besides, any twentysomething queen that can make a 1984 Phoebe Cates ‘Lace’ reference without skipping a beat is a winner in my book.
Bianca Del Ay Dios Mio! She’s been too strong for too long. And that’s why they tried to show cracks in Bianca’s pancake foundation by having Darienne Lake and Courtney blabber about her being nervous (s-t-r-e-t-c-h!) and showing her stumble a bit on the treadmill. Is that all they got? Ru said it best when he mentioned that Bianca helped out all the young gurls because they posed no threat to her. Because she’s the champion! While she displayed that she’s not completely comprised solely of bitchy retorts and one-liners by getting vulnerable, dropping her ‘wall’ and sullying up her eyeliner, BDR’s biggest flaw is that she doesn’t need the show to tell her she’s America’s Next Drag Superstar … she already is.
Too Little, Too Lake Just when you thought it was safe to dredge Darienne Lake, she goes and gets all touchy-feely and endearing with Ru. Plus you’ve got to give the beyatch props for maneuvering that treadmill like a pro, especially because you know she probably hasn’t been on one too often. DL ramped up the acting and put her back into it, getting so wrapped up in her melodramatic performance she even dared to flash one of her Jolie pork loins while writhing on the floor in hysterics. Throw in her established lip synch skills and she finally proved how talented she could be when not expending so much energy bitching about Dela, Bianca or her age. But in the end this glamazon may have been too big for her britches and had to sissy that walk on out the door.