Weave | J.LO | The Johnny Lopez

Hold on to your edges!

With three truly “unbelievable” performances in Boy Erased, Destroyer & Aquaman, Nicole Kidmans WIGS were totally robbed of Best Supporting Actress nominations!

While the 51-year-old ex Mrs. Tom Cruise did score an acting nod for Best Actress in a Drama for Destroyer, the 88 members of the sketchy Hollywood Foreign Press discarded her big ’80s matronly blonde coif, her dusty salt & pepper lace front shag & her long wispy & banged Marvel mane  faster than a queen lip syncing on RuPaul’s Drag Race. Sashay away!

Unless Lady Gaga actually wins an acting award for A Star Is Born, this may be the biggest weave snatch of the year.

In the meantime, we’ll have to wait until season 2 of Big Little Lies to get some #JusticeForNicolesWigs.

The Golden Globes air Sunday, January 6th on NBC.

 

Who’s that girl?!

With matching blonde weaves and heavy eyeliner, Bebe Rexha & Gwen Stefani Rita Ora through viewers for a loop by both allegedly performing at the the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show on Sunday.

Sources say rumors that the two numbers were actually performed by just one of the singers who changed lace front wigs in-between sets are undeniably false.

Fun fact: Both Bebe and Rita are of Albanian descent.

Find out who is who by watching the performances for yourselves!

serving Madonna lewks
Unbeknownst to them, pop princesses Julia Michaels and Grace VanderWaal both served music royalty realness in their iconic Madonna lewks at the Billboard Music Awards.

Fun fact: Julia was born a year after the release of Madge’s fifth studio album Erotica.

Even more fun fact: Grace was born after M’s ninth studio album Amercan Life.

Matt Dillon

 

Matt Dillon at the Cannes Film Festival almost exactly 20 years to the day.

Anybody got some of that special Cameron Diaz hair gel?

The season 10 premiere of RuPaul’s Drag Race proved these chilrin are snatched for their lives!

Three things I loved about the premiere: 1. Seeing the all the queens from previous seasons. This is how you launch the first episode of the season. 2. Christina Aguilera giving us drag queen realness. It makes sense since for some of these kids, the Moulin Rouge video was their first introduction to drag. 3. Vanessa Vanje Mateo’s commentary. Someone give her a YouTube recap series stat.

Three things I didn’t like about the premiere: 1. Vanje went home. 2. Vanje went home. 3. Vanje went home. I don’t like these cookies!

Here are this week’s drag superstar twinsies!

Aquaria is a Real Housewife of NY!

She’s lip syncing to this Medley… Dorinda Medley.

 

Mayhem Miller, how do you like this COOKIE?!

This queen is ready for her Empire.

 

Miz Cracker, you’re perfect, you’re beautiful, you look like Linda Evangelista.

Sorry Valentina!

 

Monet X Change is a Master of None.

But she may snatch trophies like Lena Waithe.

 

Kameron Michaels‘ muscles will VanderPUMP you up!

Yes, SUR.

 

Vanessa Vanje Mateo — Miss Jackson, if you’re nasty!

 

Kalorie Karbdashian Williams … with a Z!

 

The Vixen is looking for a new love! (Jody Watley)

 

Monique Heart is having a Ball. (Lucille Ball)

 

Dusty Ray Bottoms — Hey Kitty Girl!

Now & Forever! #Cats

 

Yuhua Hamasaki wins the Minnie challenge!

 

Blair St. Clair has shown her evil side. (Ursa)

It’s going to take a superman to beat her!

 

Eureka O’Hara – This Runway look is a winner.

Let’s hope her sewing skills are half as good as Ashley Nell Tipton’s.

 

Asia O’Hara has drawn True Blood. (Lafayette)

Side note: I couldn’t find a template with 14 pics so had to pick one queen to leave out of the composite. No shade Asia. It was just the luck of the draw.

ICYMI: Here’s the one drag celebrity side-by-sides I did for All-Stars 3:

For more pop culture recaps, reads & shade, makes sure you download the latest episode of SCREAMING INTO TRAFFIC podcast! Available on iTunes, Google Play, Spotify and Friendster!

Or just listen to it right here!

After finishing the second season of Stranger Things, I couldn’t help but find each of the main characters’ Upside Down bizarro twins.

With the exception of Will, they all have a doppleganger that referenced a star or character from the ’70s, ’80s or ’90s.

Anyway, enjoy the fruits of my lazy Sunday and trust there are no spoilers if you haven’t finished yet.

 

1. Will Byers – Anne Hathaway

Sure Will’s got that Joey Lawrence Gimme a Break Dorothy Hamill ‘do, but the only thing scarier than surviving the Demogorgon is that Anne won an Oscar for singing! I Dreamed a scary Dream!

2. Mike Wheeler – Isabella Rossellini

There are worse things for a 13-year-old boy to be compared to than the eternal beauty of Lisle Von Rohlman from Death Becomes Her.

 

3. Lucas Sinclair – Arnold Drummond (Gary Coleman) in Diff’rent Strokes

Whatcha talkin ’bout who ya gonna call, Lucas?

 

4. Dustin Henderson – J.T. Lambert (Brandon Call) from Step by Step

The scene was straight up Duckie in Pretty in Pink, but Dustin’s weave was the quintessential ‘short but long’ cut of my guido high school and this ’90s child star.

 

5. Eleven – Jamie Lee Curtis (Terror Train/Prom Night era)

Eleven is truly the scream queen for a new generation.

 

6. Steve Harrington – Sandra Bernhard

Ladies love them and their luxurious Fabergé sprayed hair.

 

7. Billy Hargrove – Rob Lowe as Billy Hicks in St. Elmo’s Fire

Speaking of hair, don’t forget they say the accessories make an outfit

 

8. Nancy Wheeler – Diane Franklin (The Last American Virgin, Better Off Dead, Bill & Ted’s)

It’s all about being an ’80s It girl. So be careful, Nancy! #WhereAreTheyNow

 

9. Jonathan Byers – Michael Jackson

The wispy hair, the delicate features, the pale complexion. Maybe I’m the only one that sees it, but Jonathan makes me want to SCREAM!

 

10. Max Mayfield – Carrie (Sissy Spacek)

A redheaded girl without many friends. Hold the pigs blood, because Max has got the power!

 

11. Lucas’ sister Erica Sinclair – Dee (Danielle Spencer) on What’s Happening!!

Can you say scene-stealing wisecracking younger sister? Then how about, “No Roger, No Rerun, No Rent!”

 

12. Joyce Byers – Winona Ryder in Lost Souls

No one does frazzled anxiety quite like Nona. She also hasn’t aged in 20 years. You can’t steal that from Saks!

And finally my favorite ’80s film reference in season 2 goes to Hopper‘s Silkwood shower.

 

Alien, ET, Firestarter, Pretty in Pink… (insert ’80s film here) be damned, nothing tops the hard brush scrubdown of the Meryl Streep film classic. Check out a more thorough list of ’80s references here.

And if you need something else to binge, check out my podcast SCREAMING INTO TRAFFIC!  for all the week’s loud & proud pop culture noize. It’s funny, I swear!

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/screaming-into-traffic/id1052412883?mt=2

 

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/screaming-into-traffic/id1052412883?mt=2

This week’s RuPaul’s Drag Race celeb side-by-sides! #DragRace

 

 

Nina Bo’Nina BrownLil’ Kim

 


Sasha VelourSylvia Miles (Wall St, Sex & the City, Midnight Cowboy)

 


(Salt-n-)PeppermintSandy “Pepa” Denton

 


Trinity TaylorPriscilla Presley

 


Alexis Michelle Marge Simpson

 


Shea Culee – British DJ/promoter Jodie Harsh

 

Episode 9 Recap 

Episode 8 Recap

Episode 5 Recap

Episode 4 Recap

Episode 3 Recap

Episode 2 Recap

Episode 1 Recap

Sorry kids, Valentina is gone. Now get over it!

Three things I loved: 1. The club kid herstory & runway. Long live ’90s NYC nightlife! 2. Michelle Visage‘s cape lewk while judging the pilot challenge. 10s across the board, henny!     3. Sasha reading Trinity for finally making a joke. Keep shade alive, children!

Three things I hated: 1. Nina Bo’Nina‘s paranoia. Conspiracy theory killed the drag superstar! 2. Valentina’s laziness. A kween can’t live by face alone! 3. The fan outrage over the Ariana Grande lip sync song choice. Classic or new, hit or obscure, they all get the song ahead of time & can memorize. End. Of. Story. Sashay away!

And here are this week’s Snatch Game wannabe celeb dopplegangers.

1. Valentina is a Twisted Sister.

She’s not gonna take it anymore … because she’s gone!

 

2. Nina Bo’Nina has a Tiny chance of winning.

But it looks like her hopes have really dyed.

 

3. Sasha Velour is serving Earth’s first supermodel Janice Dickinson realness.

An eye for an eye!

 

4. Valentina is a Real Housewife of Orange County.

Goodbye Our Lady of Guadalupe, hello ‘Jesus Jugs’ Alexis Bellino.

 

5. Nina Bo’Nina Brown is a Real Housewife of New Jersey.

That’s Nina Bo’Nina Brown Gorga Giudice to you!

 

6. Shea Culee is an American Idol & a Dreamgirl.

And you’re gonna love her!

 

7. Peppermint goes to the Max!

She’s the HBIC is this House!

 

8. Trinity Taylor serves a Young Pope.

Sisters are doing it for … Diane Keaton.

 

9. Alexis Michelle isn’t beating around the (Barbara) Bush.

This lady is getting old fast!

 

EPISODE 8 Recap & Celeb Side-By-Sides

EPISODE 5 Recap & Celeb Side-By-Sides

EPISODE 4 Recap & Celeb Side-by-Sides

EPISODE 3 Recap & Celeb Side-By-Sides

EPISODE 2 Recap & Celeb Side-By-Sides

EPISODE 1 Recap & Celeb Side-by-Sides

 

For more pop culture recaps, reads & shade, makes sure you download the latest episode of SCREAMING INTO TRAFFIC! This week we’re making noize about the new ‘Will & Grace‘ trailer, Master of None, that ‘American Gods’ scene, Rompers for men & that show about the Abbey.

itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/screaming-into-traffic/id1052412883?mt=2


Second only to the Snatch Game, the annual reading challenge is usually the funniest segment of each season. Usually.

But with no one matching the wit and timimg of Bob the Drag Queen, Alaska or Bianca Del Rio, the season 9 kweens were less comedy and more tragedy.

While Valentina was awarded the reading challenge and Peppermint took the roast of Michelle Visage, in my book, Sasha Velour had the best overall lines.  “Valentina is a queen that combines all the excitement of smiling with the thrill of just standing there.” TRUTH!

 

Three things I loved this week: 1. Nina Bo’Nina‘s elderly drag. “And what’s your name baby?” (to guest judge Fortune Feimster). DEAD! 2. Tamar Braxton looking gorge and serving shade.com. Shantay you stay, gur!  3. Michelle telling the kweens they should have gone balls to the walls in roasting her, because it’s a, um, ROAST! She’s “so Jersey” and you bettah not fugheddabout it!

Three things I hated this week: 1. Farrah Moan‘s alabaster face beat. Apparently, she can only throw shade …on her cheeks!  2. Alexis Michelle getting pissy about weight jokes, yet mock’s Shea’s teeth. Isn’t that the pot calling the kettle FAT?!  3. Just as I’m starting to like Trinity Taylor she crashes and burns with her unfunny hillbilly routine. Shame on me, y’all!

So after two weeks off, here is this week’s Snatch Game wannabe celeb dopplegangers.

1. Shea Culee did it on ’em! #NickiMinaj

Pound the alarm, Shea is about to snatch the whole damn thing!

 

2. Alexis Michelle has been acting like a Gremlin lately!

Do not body shame …or feed her after midnight!!!

 

3. Peppermint is every woman! #ChakaKhan

I feel for you, Peppermint! I think I love you.

 

4. Valentina is a SHORE thing! #Snooki

She knows there’s a fine line between chola and guidette. Gym. Tan. Lip sync.

 

5. Nina Bo’ Nina Brown is part of your Mama’s Family!

Some say her shtick is getting old, but I think it’s still funny.

 

6. Trinity Taylor has gone MAD … magazine!

What, she worry? #AlfredENeuman

 

7. Sasha Velour is so Cruel-lla.

She was very, very Close this week.

 

8. Farrah Moan —  Lord have mercy for serving late televangelist Jan Crouch realness.

Sashay away – & rest in peace – knowing your face was beat for the gawds.

 

For more pop culture recaps, reads & shade, makes sure you download the season 3 premiere of SCREAMING INTO TRAFFIC! We’re talking Drag Race, Fire Island, White Party & reminiscing about West Hollywood’s glory days with the one & only Billy Francesca!

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/screaming-into-traffic/id1052412883?mt=2

 

 

EPISODE 5 CELEBRITY SIDE-BY-SIDES

EPISODE 4 CELEBRITY SIDE-BY-SIDES

 

EPISODE 3 CELEBRITY SIDE-BY-SIDES

EPISODE 2 CELEBRITY SIDE-BY-SIDES

 

EPISODE 1 CELEBRITY SIDE-BY-SIDES

Before we go any further, let us remember that the Costume Institute Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art is not your average red carpet event.

In my opinion, a Met Gala dress is a dress that is only appropriate for the Met Gala. You shouldn’t be able to wear it to any other black tie charity event, the Fastest & the Furiousest premiere or the Oscars! It is to be worn to the Metropolitan Museum of Art on the first Monday in May … and that’s it.

Avant-garde is highly encouraged. Leave that little black dress at home. If you’re safe or just giving plain old Hollywood glamour, Anna Wintour should make you Uber home and change.

This is the Hunger Games of fashion and we’re in the Capitol, baby. Effie Trinket is your stylist & your muse. Go ahead and be the Girl on Fire. If not, you’ll suffer a fate worse than death, being called boring.

With that being said, here our some MAYJAH lewks that I’m totally going to make light of …whether I liked them or not! 😜

1.Katy Perry went Gaga, but for once she actually got it right. First I can’t get her new song “Bon Appetit” out of my head and now I approve of Katheryn Hudson’s Real Housewives of Kabul couture. This is my new reality in Trump America, people!

 

2. Category is: Pharrell‘s wife first time in red Teletubby drags at the ball.

 

3.  Kylie Jenner arrives with her drag mother ‘Queen Ravenna’ Versace.

 

4. Lena Dunham wearing my sophomore year dorm comforter. Looks toasty though!

 

5. Solange knows air mattress is the new black.

 

6. Not even a Pepsi can save Kendall Jenner from this AVN Awards chic. She’s XXXtra.

 

7. If the theme was 1969 Oscars, then Jennifer Lopez nailed it! But seriously loved that she covered up knowing most would be airing out their vadges up and down Fifth Ave. #WhenTheyGoLowYouGoWrapped

 

8. Spoiler Alert! King Joffrey’s long lost twin sisters have surfaced. The Olsen Twins are representing Full House Baratheon. #GoT

 

9. GOOP Style Tip: If you can’t find anything to wear to the Met Gala, just repurpose one of your old ’90s Oscar gowns! #GwynethPaltrow

 

10. Alert Ryan Murphy! There will not be a Feud: Courtney vs. Frances Bean.

 

11. Come through Celine Dion with this Lady Liberty meets ’80s Cher moment!

 

12. Call Homeland security, someone TP’d Claire Danes!

 

13. No one cares, boo. #KimWhatsHerName

 

14. When your dramatic fashion moment gets derailed by a beige “red carpet” … #TrenchCoatMafia #PriyankaChopra 

 

15. Bella Hadid, 20, is serving pussy-catsuit. Parental guidance is suggested, so luckily her mom, RHOBH‘s Yolanda Hadid, was there too.

 

16. Speaking of Effie Trinket, Elizabeth Banks is gorgeous … Gigi Gorgeous!

 

17. Madonna is dressed for battle because of all the attacks she is sure to get in the press. #TheresOnlyOneQueenBitchesAndSheCanWearWhateverSheWants

 

18. You guys, haven’t the Kennedy‘s suffered enough! Sweet Caroline, good times never seemed so good…

 

19. Rihanna won the Met Gala … and a VIP membership to Jo-Ann Fabrics!

 

20. And finally …  SCREAMING INTO TRAFFIC is back next week after a three month sabbatical of silence, meditation and home drinking. 🍷 😴 🍷

We’ve got a new lewk & new surprises, but still the same old reads & shade. Season 3 is serving all the latest loud & proud pop culture noize that your weave can handle!

New episode coming next week…but until then binge & purge the first two seasons on iTunes! Come thru podcast kweens and listen, like & share!