May | 2016 | J.LO | The Johnny Lopez

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA - MAY 22: Britney Spears is seen on stage during the 2016 Billboard Music Awards held at the T-Mobile Arena on May 22, 2016 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by JB Lacroix/WireImage)

1. Britney Spears was amazing … for Britney Spears. And by that  I mean she maneuvered the stage on her own power (save for her assisted back flip), opened and shut her mouth on a semi-consistent basis, flailed her arms on cue and successfully bolted down her weave. So in that sense – and to quote every other blog & twentysomething on Twitter – Britney did in fact “SLAY.” #PleaseStopUsingSlay

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2. Ciara proved she has Braxton Family Values … circa 2001.

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3.  Fifth Harmony on holiday from their regular paying jobs as stand-ins on Keeping Up With the Kardashians.  The Khloe one is still my fave!

2016 Billboard Music Awards - Show

4. Meghan Trainor – The hair is NO! That dress is NO! Her dancing is NO! You need to let it go.

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5. Justin Bieber shaved his head, lip synched, arm-danced and is now having a full-blown breakdown on Instagram. He’s officially reached icon status. #GimmeGimmeMore

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6. If P!nk is hoisted into the air it must be 2010 … or a Sunday.

2016 Billboard Music Awards - Show

7. Props to Demi Lovato for using her voice to speak out against all those ridiculous anti-transgender bathroom laws … and to sing LIVE! Groundbreaking.

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8. In Memoriam.  Last night, Gwen Stefani dyed … her brows. A moment of silence please.  This shit is B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

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9. Adele sells more than anyone without having to parade around pantless, snatches trophies, doesn’t show up to award shows and drops a ridiculously simple video. She does not give AF! QUEEN.

2016 Billboard Music Awards - Show

10. Kesha – Career re-invention starts now! And if you don’t like her Colonel Sanders meets Temple Grandin ensemble then you must be Team Dr. Luke.

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11. Rihanna is always the coolest chic in the room, even when it’s not technically Casual Friday. #WorkWorkWorkWorkWorkWork

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12. You’d have to be dead inside to not fall in love with Celine Dion after her emotional speech last night. But the real question is how long until Gigi Hadid – or Calvin Klein – starts dating her It boy son, Rene Charles? #HeIs15

2016 Billboard Music Awards - Arrivals

13. I’m living for Halsey‘s ’80s perm! I love saying PERM. Please tell me millennial girls in Brooklyn are rockin’ perms up and down Bedford. For the love of Rhea Perlman, make this a thing, Greenpoint! #fetch

2016 Billboard Music Awards - Show

14. Ariana Grande – For once, bride of Fievel didn’t annoy the crap out of me. Maybe I’ve just gotten use to her Seabiscuit extensions & lazy dancing, but since I actually heard her enunciate, I’m led to believe she finally had her tongue rebuilt. Congrats, lady.

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15. The Go-Gos – Legends, kids!

Original member Kathy Valentine quit the group a few years ago & they added Abby Travis (center), but they still got the beat. And I’ll always be Mad About You, Belinda Carlisle.

2016 Billboard Music Awards - Show

16. Steven Tyler is going to be an excellent addition to Caitlyn’s bus next season!

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17. Madonna –  Well I loved the outfit!  Listen, “Nothing Compares 2 U” is a really tough song to pull off. Obviously not the best for her to chose, but had she done a more uplifting dance track y’all be saying how disrespectful of her to not be solemn. Now I will give props to M for not lip synching, keeping the tribute heartfelt, low-key & not doing an over-the-top medley (ahem, Gaga). Madonna haters are gonna hate, but from one icon to another – who were born the same year, dated and recorded the 1989 track “LoveSong” together – it was still pretty major to witness in my book.  Long live Prince & the Queen.

We’ll be watching, BET.

18. As an added bonus, check out Britney’s inadvertent red carpet tribute to Fredrick’s of Hollywood Prince’s ladies Apollonia & Vanity. #Britney6

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19. And finally, if you haven’t heard the latest episode of my HYSTERICAL weekly podcast SCREAMING INTO TRAFFIC, just click below. It’s life changing!  🙂