May | 2015 | J.LO | The Johnny Lopez

The annual Costume Institute Gala at the Metropolitan Museum of Art is all about fashion, drama and letting us have it. It is the Oscars on steroids. It is not for the timid, the safe, or for placating the small minds of the basic masses at home. Ready-to-Wear is not allowed.

That being said, here are 20 MAYJAH lewks from this year’s MET GALA, whose theme was “China: Through the Looking Glass.” #culturalappropriationalert

1. Eat your heart out, Khaleesi. Introducing Sarah Jessica Parker, Mother of Dragons. Carrie Bradshaw is alive and well.

472197928-sarah-jessic-parker-arrives-at-china-through-gettyimages

2. Vogue Creative Director, Grace Coddington knows it’s her party and she can wear Prada pajamas if she wants too! It’s all about Miss Grace, y’all.

472163848-grace-coddington-attends-the-china-through-gettyimages

3. Take away the bizarre statement necklace and Jennifer Lawrence is every PR girl working media check-in at a movie premiere. “Like, omigawd, I don’t see your name on the list.” Katniss needs to set this dress on fire!

"China: Through The Looking Glass" Costume Institute Benefit Gala - Arrivals

4. Katie Holmes in Zac Posen. Rihanna wig sold separately.

472201090-katie-holmes-arrives-at-china-through-the-gettyimages

5. This is the most hood you will ever see Anne Hathaway.

472199048-anne-hathaway-arrives-at-china-through-the-gettyimages

6.  Elizabeth Banks serving Real Housewives of New Jersey realness. Styling by Dina Manzo.

"China: Through The Looking Glass" Costume Institute Benefit Gala - Arrivals

7.  The girl from The Ring is all growed up and BFFs with Selena Gomez, who, by the way, is finally showing off her voluptuous Latina curves. Wepa!

472176910-vera-wang-and-selena-gomez-attend-the-china-gettyimages

8. Kris Jenner in Linda Dano/Fellica Gallant Another World drag. Thank God Bruce is now safe.

472166646-kris-jenner-attends-the-china-through-the-gettyimages

9.  Full House is dead to them, but American Horror Story would be a game changer for The Olsen Twins.

"China: Through The Looking Glass" Costume Institute Benefit Gala

10. Lorde have mercy.

MET Gala 2015 - Departures from The Carlyle

11. It’s Bieberace. Behind the Douchelabra.

472169548-justin-bieber-attends-the-china-through-the-gettyimages

12.  What would Giuliana Rancic think about this? More importantly, how the hell does Zendaya get invited to all these A-list events? Patchouli oil and weed?

"China: Through The Looking Glass" Costume Institute Benefit Gala

13. Beauty and the Beast in reverse. J.Lo knows to always keep a safe distance of at least two feet away from the Donatella Verzombie.

472176614-donatella-versace-and-jennifer-lopez-attend-gettyimages

14. It takes a village, people! Rihanna is giving you GOWN for the GAWDS. #BedBathAndBeyondHauteCouture

472199342-rihanna-arrives-at-china-through-the-looking-gettyimages

15. Someone please inform Ms. Witherspoon that it’s the MET GALA not the Golden Globes! #snore #boring #change

472180962-reese-witherspoon-attends-the-china-through-gettyimages

16. It’s not nice to make fun of the fashion handicapped. #KatyPerryAlwaysGetsItWrong

"China: Through The Looking Glass" Costume Institute Benefit Gala

17.  Game of Thrones! But you are never getting the crown, bitches! #QueenOfPop

11202571_10153324684797498_5419456396397747460_n

18. Would she ever really date a man THAT old? Believe it or not, only ONE of them is 36. #gavegoodface

472172202-diplo-and-madonna-attend-the-china-through-gettyimages

19. That aint’ some sort of oil slick, it’s Solange destroying all the chickens in her path with her avant-garde eleganza. Sorry, but this is the Knowles sister who really slayed … and no elevator was required this year.

"China: Through The Looking Glass" Costume Institute Benefit Gala - Arrivals

20. Forget Mayweather & Pacquiao, the fight of the century is the battle of the sheer bejeweled vagina dresses! Jenna Jameson would be so proud of these two.

picstitch

That’s it. Now if only E! or Bravo or Logo would get it together and finally air this red carpet next year?! Sheesh! Don’t they know their audience?

The end. See y’all at H&M.