November | 2013 | J.LO | The Johnny Lopez

Taryn_wig
Orange is the New Black” star Taryn Manning appears to have wigged out at the International Emmy Awards in NYC on Monday.

For unknown reasons, the 35-year-old rocked a fabulous platinum ‘do reminiscent of former “Real Housewives of Atlanta” new mom Kim Zolciak. Don’t be tardy to the party, Taryn!

Perhaps T picked up synthetic weave tips from Britney when they co-starred in “Crossroads” together in 2002.

AMAs
Things learned watching the 41st Annual American Music Awards:

  1. Pitbull actually knows a few more words than just “305,” “Mr. Worldwide” or “Dale!”. A few. Un poquito.
  2. I need Justin Timberlake’s navy tuxedo and his Brazilian blowout.
  3. There was one thing weirder & more random than having Bill Maher introduce Rihanna … having her mother present the ICON award. Sweet but completely bizarre.
  4. With the hipster/folk rock explosion at Defcon 1 levels, now the only things differentiating One Direction from Mumford & Sons or The Lumineers are hair dryers and Aqua Net.
  5. Katy Perry’s performance was unbelievable … for taking insensitive cultural appropriation to new levels, & telling young girls to love their man unconditionally — like a docile, subservient prostitute. Konichiwa, Katy Kats!
  6. Lady Gaga & R. Kelly are not Sonny & Cher … do what you want with your bodies but leave the variety show numbers alone!
  7. On the other hand, The Jennifer Lopez Variety Hour is something I would definitely watch. Wepa!
  8. First gay rights and now racism, Macklemore & Lewis are like an LMFAO Afterschool Special in the making. And that’s one to grow on.
  9. R.I.P. TLC.
  10. Miley Cyrus struck the perfect balance every female pop star strives for … proving you can really sing while still effectively showing off your adorable pussy.

The American Music Awards are the most important award show to air on the last Sunday of November on ABC. It’s true. Now if you were too busy watching Homeland, Walking Dead and Ja’mie: Private School Girl, you’ll have no idea what I’m talking about.  Consider yourself lucky.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Katy Perry — Misguided performance aside, her arrivals dress was a huge improvement over her usual red carpet looks which tend to navigate the spectrum between Kelly Bundy and an extra on Real Housewives of OC.

Pitbull — You are from Miami. You are Latin. You speak Spanish. You grew up poor. WE KNOW! ¡Dios mio, callate la boca!

Taylor Swift — She’s creating a Dynasty … by serving Heather Locklear Sammy Jo Carrington Realness.

Justin Timberlake — Buffed up, no signs of Jessica Biel and flirting with Taylor Swift. This will not end well …except for Taylor’s future album sales.

Emma Roberts — Unfortunately for Em & her stylist, L.A.’s ban on plastic bags doesn’t start until January.

One Direction — Boy band or a ZARA store come to life? Ok, so they’re growing on me … except for the frosted tips/highlighted one who looks like he’s still in O-Town.

Ariana Grande — Very talented little lady who seems like she can do no wrong … until the photos/videos are leaked. #allthekidshavethem

Marc Anthony — Kohl’s sponsored the AMA’s Best New Artist award … and his outfit.

Ke$ha — Between the facial bone morphing, Amanda Bynes hair and the somewhat dramatic black gown, I wasn’t sure if it was her or yet another Lady Donatella wannabe.

Rihanna — I love me some RiRi but giving her an ICON award after being around 8 years is sillier than wearing a bobby pinned Rite Aid weave to an award show.

Naya Rivera — Flawless as Whoreticia Addams!

Dave Grohl & Joan Jett — Caught between rock and a hard place. Yowza! Was that really Joan or Chita Rivera?

Wayne Newton — Burn victim! But don’t call another doctor!

Kelly Osbourne — Wearing 50 shades of …don’t you know any gays? Joan Rivers will not be happy about this.

Nicole Richie — She’s back to her baby weight … 7lbs, 6oz.

Florida Georgia Line — Deport.

Daisy Fuentes –‘Memba her? 47 and fabulous! Proof that a successful line at Kohl’s can buy an appearance on national TV.

Pete Wentz — Adorbs! He’s like Paul Rudd with guyliner. Just don’t stand next to Amazonian Taylor Swift, little fall out boy!

Alicia Silverstone — Speaking of Rudd, Cher Horowitz looks amazing!

Jennifer Hudson — It’s been almost 5 years now, feel free to mention her name without saying the words “weight loss.” #enough

Christina Aguilera — Looks and sounds fabulous. But when is Dirrty Xtina making a comeback?! Bring on the ratty colored extensions!

Austin Mahone & Kendall Jenner — Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez’s designer impostors.

Avicii — “Wake Me Up?” Um, it looks like he hasn’t slept in months. #justsayno

Jeremy Renner — What the? Does he have a line at Kohl’s too?

Jennifer Lopez — Two words: Iris Chacon. Google her!  Whatevs Britney, where’s JLo’s Vegas show? Somewhere in heaven Celia Cruz is smiling … unlike Lisa Left Eye Lopes.

TLC — Don’t go chasing comebacks … especially with Lil Mama.  And who styled T-Boz? Pebbles? All I know is someone better sue.

Lady Gaga — Go back on the horse you rode on! On a positive note, it’s safe to say she didn’t copy this SNL skit performance from Madonna.

Miley Cyrus — God damn you, Miley. You just gave everyone — and their mother — 11 months to get next year’s Halloween costume ready. Yeah you you wreck me!

Pauly_Imelda
Now that he’s a new dad, “Jersey Shore” guido Pauly D has really turned into royalty.

Rockin’ a perfectly lacquered regal blowout, exquisite silent screen star brows, a pair of gorgeous diamond studs and a huge, extravagant gold necklace that would make any ousted former First Lady envious, the 33-year-old DJ glowed at a cancer benefit in NYC this week. Gym, tan, Imelda Marcos!

If the shoe fits …

MenudoOh, coqui!

Latin sensation Ricky Martin reunited with his fellow former Menudo member Draco Rosa — who went by Robi Rosa back during the group’s ’80s heyday  — at the Latin Grammys on Thursday. Boricua!

The Puerto Rican duo have been great friends since leaving the boy band, as 44-year-old Draco composed and produced most of the 41-year-old pop star’s biggest hits (La Vida Loca, Maria, La Copa de la Vida, She Bangs, Shake Your Bon-Bon … ‘memba those?!)

In 2011, Draco — who is married to a woman — was diagnosed with non-hodgkin lymphoma, but has been cancer-free since May of this year.

Ricky sure wuz pretty … now he’s just damn hot!

Natalie_Dress
Music diva Natalie Cole will definitely be unforgettable for wearing this, er, sexy red number to the Latin Grammys in Vegas on Thursday. Ay Dios mio!

Despite the Jessica Rabbit meets Gaga ensemble, the 63-year-old Grammy winner — who had a kidney transplant in 2009 and is a Hepatitis C survivor — was looking fit and fabulous.

Natalie performed a Spanish version of “Unforgettable” as part of a virtual duet with her late father Nat King Cole.

Werk, loca!

Sexiest
PEOPLE magazine can rant and rave all they want about Adam Levine or Channing Tatum or Bradley Cooper, but the real truth is undeniable.

Amen.

Scott_Wolf
Former “Party of Five” star Scott Wolf has not aged since the ’90s.

Everyone remembers him as Bailey Salinger back on the FOX hit show (left) — but the 45-year-old baby face hunk showed up to the premiere of the new Disney film “Frozen” last night looking virtually the same (right). Not bad for a guy whose wife — Kelly from “Real World: New Orleans” —  is expecting their third child.

A good black leather jacket can work wonders.

Joel
“The Soup” host Joel McHale turns 42 today … and his body of work is nothing to laugh at. Dayum!

So meaty!

JLAW_dress
No, that’s not Katniss Everdeen on “Dancing with the Stars” … it’s just America’s sweetheart Jennifer Lawrence at the L.A. premiere of “Catching Fire.”

The 23-year-old Oscar winner proved she really can do no wrong, because despite boldly rockin’ what resembles a one piece swimsuit underneath a sheer beach cover-up … JLaw still looked fierce.  The same could not be said about Julianne Hough at the Emmys.

And may the odds be ever in your favor … when wearing Dior Haute Couture.

BROWS
For Young Hollywood bigger is always better … even as far as their eyebrows.

While at the “Catching Fire” premiere in L.A. on Monday, former child star Jena Malone, “Modern Family” babe Sarah Hyland, adorable “Mad Men” daughter Kiernan Shipka and ex-Jonas Brothers band member Joe Jonas all upped their brow game for Movember by showing off bold bushy — but still well groomed — eyebrows.

Thankfully, the silent screen star/Chola brow era is ovah. I’m talking to you, Pam Anderson.