Things learned watching the 2010 Golden Globes:
1. Nobody – especially the staff at the Beverly Hills Hilton — watches weather reports in Los Angeles.
2. Screw an Oscar or a private jet, in Hollywood it’s all about your umbrella assistant!
3. Everybody had ruffles on their dresses, and I don’t mean the potato chips on Precious’ gown.
4. Blame Snooki, but orange bronzer is the new Pandora blue.
5. All a celebrity needs to do to not feel guilty for spending $5000 on an outfit, riding in a limo and drinking bottles of Dom in the middle of a world crisis is … slap on a pin.
6. After being exhumed from the LaBrea Tar Pits and injected with 1000 cc of formaldehyde, Cher has miraculously become her own Avatar.
7. If Mo’Nique, Drew Barrymore and Sandra Bullock can win acting awards, so can you.
8. That guy who co-wrote (not directed) “Up in the Air” is kinda sorta hot.
9. Due to the weather, arrivals should have been held underneath Mariah Carey’s boobs.
10. With Avatar and The Hangover winning, the Globes have officially become the Kids Choice Awards. Somebody slime Julia Roberts, stat!
I love the Globes because it’s the one award show where the biggest stars of film and TV sit in the same room … and totally ignore each other. So whether you watched or not, I’m sending you my recap. Feel free to send me know your thoughts, comments and observations at email@example.com. Until the SAG Awards next week!