Things learned watching the 2009 American Music Awards:
1. Taylor Swift can do no wrong. America, meet your first woman President.
2. Either the show took place in Thunderdome or we are in the midst of a serious post-apocalyptic fashion moment.
3. Thanks in part to Janet, Kelly Clarkson, Alicia Keys & Mary J, tonight’s performance was presented in HD – hip definition.
4. Sofia Vergara is the hottest woman in the world.
5. Chaz Bono has caused a celebrity gender reassignment trend, as Val Kilmer has quietly become Kathleen Turner.
6. As proven by Jacko, Britney and Whitney, only two things that can resuscitate a stalled pop music career – death and rehab.
7. Everyone has jumped on the Lady GaGa tip and has turned the pop music landscape into one big avant-garde art installation piece. No performance/video is complete without a series of masks, robotic alien-like creatures or spastic bodily twitches.
8. “Idol” has hijacked the AMAs. With so many former American Idols winners and losers performing (and not lip-synching), I was half-way expecting to see Fantasia and Taylor Hicks up there too… assuming they got their Olive Garden shifts covered.
9. One word – Jermajesty.
Forget VH1, with Janet, JLo, Rihanna, Shakira, Whitney, Gaga, Carrie, Kelly & Glambert, last night was divas live. So whether you thought J.Lo bit it more than Adam or if Whitney’s voice wasn’t all it’s cracked out to be, here is the recap.