Things learned by watching the 2009 VMAs
1. The VMAs should always be in NYC. The Paramount Lot can’t compete with the New York Metropolitan Transit Authority.
2. In case of emergency, Madonna’s cheeks may be used as a flotation device.
3. Pink and Shakira need to have a serious talk with the House of Balmain. Where’s Rachel Zoe when you need her?
4. Camel toe is the new black. See Beyonce, GaGa, Amber Rose, Katy Perry, Pink.
5. If you didn’t know who Taylor Swift was before, now ya do! No sex tape or flashing her Britney necessary.
6. Despite my better judgment and the fact that “Twilight” was total BASURA, I still kinda wanna see “New Moon.” Damn you, Jacob!
7. As proved by her bloody performance, Lady GaGa is not a man … PERIOD.
Minus Russell Brand, it was the best VMAs in a long time — and all it took was the death of an icon and the public humiliation of a teenager to make it happen. If you didn’t catch the show, watch it the same place you view music videos … on Youtubes.
As always, feel free to send me your comments and feedback at email@example.com. Enjoy!