J.LO | The Johnny Lopez

Renee Zellweger's face

Where were you when Renée Zellweger – or rather her face – blew up the Interwebs?!

Maybe congratulations are in order, because with Ebola panic, Isis threats and Wyoming becoming the 32nd state to legalize marriage equality (that’s right, f*ckin’ WYOMING!), we all chose the peculiar happenings with the bone structure of a 45-year-old actress who hasn’t made a movie in nearly five years hog up our news feeds and headlines exactly two weeks before the ever-important midterm elections. And they say it’s hard to get noticed in Hollywood after 40!

Maybe it’s not so much what she’s had done as to what has she stopped doing? Yes, she looked different from her ‘old’ self, but in my opinion she looked as pretty as usual and more natural (just look at them brows) than she has in years.  Her forehead moved and we could finally get a good look at those gorgeous baby blues! RIP to all the squinty eye, chipmunk cheeks and sour lemon facial grin jokes and memes.

Maybe we’ve become so accustomed to the cryogenically petrified veneers of the “Real” Housewives or the fine Italian marble coatings of legitimate A-listers like  Madonna and Nicole Kidman, that it’s become inconceivable to believe that a famous female would willfully stop injecting battery acid & plutonium into their brow line.

Renee Zellweger now and then

At the Elle Magazine event last night (left) and at the Bee premiere on Oct 28, 2007 (right)

Maybe she did have work done. Fantastic. If so, she needs to give her doctor’s number to the legions of sentient comedy and tragedy masks currently populating red carpets – and Bravo programming – around the world, because looking like a Madame Tussauds exhibit isn’t ideal nor does it translate to younger or better.

Maybe she’s just really happy. For whatever reason she took a few years off from Hollywood and all its bullshit machinations (can you even imagine being an actress in this biz with all the scrutiny and silly posts getting written about you all day?!) and found love with musician Doyle Bramhall II.

And maybe that is just enough to change you.

Renee and Doyle

Peter Pan Live with Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber

This live tweeting camp classic airs December 4th at 8pm on NBC

The flawless and preposterous new poster for NBC’s Peter Pan Live musical was unveiled and it’s obvious producers have been snorting lots of fairy dust!  With more cheap wigs than a Lifetime original movie, it features Allison Williams and Christopher Walken done up in their best Party City gender-bending pop star drag.

With Halloween fast approaching, let this be a reminder that you really need to make sure  your Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber costumes – and weaves! – are on point.

If you listen closely you can hear the sound of … Carrie Underwood laughing.

Alfred Enoch and C.Thomas HowellIn case you missed it, the most shocking thing on last night’s episode of How To Get Away With Murder wasn’t the hot gay sex, the de-wigging of Viola Davis or the last nine words her character of Annalise Keating uttered (why is your penis on a dead girl’s phone?).

Here’s Alfred Enoch as teacher’s pet Wes Gibbons on the new ABC hit show (left) – and C.Thomas Howell wearing a really bad Rite-Aid wig and makeup in the 1986 comedy Soul Man (right).

While both play law students with a penchant for  blue and green plaid shirts, only Howell’s character had to take a “large dose of tanning pills” in order to quality for a minority scholarship.

Even Shonda Rhimes wouldn’t create a storyline that bonkers.

Soul_cover

creepy_twinsRobbed of an Emmy for portraying Lana Winters on American Horror Story: Asylum, the incredible Sarah Paulson continued to amaze as conjoined twins Dot and Bette Tattler  on last night’s American Horror Story: Freak Show by singing Fiona Apple‘s 1997 hit Criminal.

Unfortunately, nothing on that show – not even Twisty the Clown – is as spine-chilling as the demonic stare of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen.

It’s not normal.

Teri Hatcher

The 49-year-old goes through the gamut of emotions

Teri Hatcher gave a master class in acting – without the use of any lines – as she attempted to show the various emotions accessible to an actress of her caliber while on the red carpet at the 20th Annual Fulfillment Fund Stars Benefit Gala on Tuesday.

The former Desperate Housewives star is one of the biggest working stiffs in the business.

She’s showing all the up-and-coming girls how to serve FACE!

Agyness Deyn surfaces
Former supermodel turned Scientolowife to Giovanni Ribisi, Agyness Deyn resurfaced looking like a cross between Tea Leoni and the daughter in the Taken films at the premiere of her new movie (she’s a Scientolo-actress now) Electricity in London on Tuesday.

Although she had small parts in the 2010 film Clash of the Titans and  the British thriller Pusher, Electricity is her first lead role. In it she plays a thetan woman with epilepsy who experiences hallucinations as she searches for her long lost brother. No word if her character gets glib and receives medication for the neurological disorder.

For about five years beginning in 2007, the 31-year-old ruled the runways with her short tomboyish blonde bob before pulling a TomKat and marrying the Avatar star and lifelong Scientologist seemingly out of nowhere in a surprise wedding on June 16, 2012.

Agyness werks the runway

Walk and serve and own it, hunny!

While Agyness has never admitted to being an L.Ron Hubbard fan, she did address reports that she’d been “brainwashed’ by the so-called religion.

She told the Evening Standard: “Brainwashed to what? The people who are saying this, have they ever read a book? Do they know what it’s all about? You meet someone and you fall in love with them. I’d go and live in a tent if I had to with him.”

Or another planet.

Agyness Deyn and Giovanni Ribisi

Mr. & Mrs. Ribisi at some event last November

Carol
Here’s actress Melissa McBride as Carol Peletier on last night’s amazing season five premiere of  The Walking Dead – and President George W. Bush arriving on the USS Abraham Lincoln on May 1, 2003,  just prior to announcing ‘the end of major combat operations in Iraq.’

While both waged war, one of them kicked serious ass, saved the day and quickly became a fan favorite.

Mission accomplished.

Jyoti Amge and Ariana Grande
It’s a big year for tiny divas.

Getting ready to take Hollywood by storm,  2 ft 6 in-tall actress Jyoti Amge – who is the World’s Shortest Woman – made her debut playing Jessica Lange‘s assistant Ma Petite on last night’s premiere of American Horror Story: Freak Show — as itsy-bitsy singer Ariana Grande continues to rule the pop landscape with two songs currently in the top 10 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart.

While Jyoti and Ariana were both born in 1993 and have an affinity for lustrous long weaves, they also have a Big Brother connection: Ariana’s half-brother Frankie Grande starred on the most recent American edition and Jyoti appeared on the Indian version called Bigg Boss.

Unfortunately, one of them also has a huge problemenunciating lyrics.

James Marsden looks better than ever

James Marsden looks better than ever

Now that George Clooney – like millions of men across the globe – has given up his beauty regimen by getting legally married to a woman, James Marsden is putting in his bid to takeover the coveted He Only Gets Better With Age title in Hollywood.

Here’s the 25-year-old X-Men star at the premiere of The Mod Squad (‘memba that?) in 1999 (left) — and the divorced 41-year-old at the premiere of the new Nicholas Sparks cryfest Best Of Me in Los Angeles on Tuesday (right).

Bye George, I think he’s got it.

Lisa_Jagger
Here’s new Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Lisa Rinna, 51,  sporting a painted black ensemble at LAX this weekend – and Rolling Stones legend Mick Jagger, 71, at a premiere in New York a few years ago.

No doubt about it, they are lip synched!