J.LO | The Johnny Lopez

Calista_MJ

Cue the dancing baby!

Apologies to Joseph Fiennes, but the only one white person who should be playing Michael Jackson really is Calista Flockhart.

With similar luscious locks, flawless bone structure and minuscule waistlines, Ally McBeal was born to be the King of Pop.

I’ve been Searching My Soul … for the woMan in the Mirror!

Gigi_couch

Don’t tell Dan, but supermodel Gigi Hadid is giving you Roseanne Conner afghan blanket realness.

Curled up on the couch is the new black.

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Jim from The Office is dead. Long live Jim from The Office.

Emily Blunt you lucky beyatch, you!

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In the name of the Pia, and of the Madonna and of the Holy Gaga.

Thanks be to the Hollywood Foreign Press.

Amen.

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With the Golden Globes this weekend, Hollywood will most likely play it safe for the show’s annual red carpet on Sunday.

But on Saturday, it seemed the film and TV elite gave their stylists a much needed night off and were left to their own devices to attend the wardrobe & weave malfunction-palooza that was the Art of Elysium gala.

While the event did honor avant garde fashion legend Vivienne Westwood, these B-list stars – and Johnny Depp – just looked downright strange.

Juliette

1. Juliette Lewis – As the Megyn Kelly of Scientology (aka the one you excuse for her affiliation with a batshit crazy org), I fully support whatever role on Once Upon a Time she’s trying to land. #XenuPrincess

Amber

2. Amber Heard & Johnny Depp prove that despite their combined fortunes, box office flops and 23-year age gap, it’s still a very thin line between Hollywood hipster couple and Real Housewives of New Jersey cast. #fuggeddaboutit

Kaley

3. Kaley Cuoco and sister Briana Cuoco – Forget what she’s wearing (no, really!), because  I bet many of us have never really realized just how much visibility the Big Bang Theory star is bringing to non-white actors everywhere. #OITNB

Zendaya

4. Zendaya – Isn’t it better to have your weave smell like patchouli oil and weed than Rite-Aid sale rack?! #WigInABag

Malin

5. Malin Ackerman – With Madonna causing a scene across town at Sean Penn‘s Haiti benefit, Malin stood in for the Material Mom by donning her best “Express Yourself” wig drag. Don’t go for second best baby!

Ed

6. Ed Westwick – I think the Gossip Girl star was drugged, because how else do you explain the Cosby sweater suit & the highlighted tips?! #ChessKing

ChristinaH

7. Christina Hendricks is giving you Mia Farrow at the AVN Porn Awards realness. #FreeSoonYi

Bella

8. Bella Thorne – It’s obvious she drank the Vivienne Westwood purple Kool-Aid. Unfortunately, this teenage Cuban-American Disney princess is about as punk rock as Green Day.

Paz

9. Paz Vega – At some point in the last decade, the Spanglish star (‘memba that?!) transitioned from Penelope Cruz’s twin into Anne Hathaway’s. #AyDiosMio

Milian

10. Raven-Symone has never looked so good! DAYUM! Oh wait, it’s actually Christina Milian. Carry on.

Stay tuned for the Golden Globes recap … perhaps.

ChanningJocelyne
Forget Beyonce, he’s all about the Lion QUEEN herself, Jocelyn Wildenstein. Meow!

Selena_Cindy

Here’s 23-year-old Selena Gomez getting all adult in her brand new “Hands to Myself” video (top) — and 24-year-old supermodel Cindy Crawford in the infamous bathtub scene from George Michael‘s iconic 1990 video “Freedom 90” (bottom).

Accept no imitation, chilrin.

Caitlyn_Kim
Like mother, like step-daughter.

Caitlyn Jenner‘s latest fashion transformation has her channeling fellow E! reality star Kim Kardashian.

Still rocking her new new clip-on bangs, the 66-year-old I Am Cait beauty took a break from apologizing for her “man in a dress” comments to step out in a body-hugging low-cut black top, an animal-print belt that perfectly cinched her slender waist and a knee-length orange pencil skirt that highlighted her long bronzed legs on Tuesday.

While simultaneously looking like a sexy Staten Island career secretary, the ensemble also exquisitely mimicked what Kim wore to a taping of The X-Factor (‘memba that?!) in 2012.

Just goes to show you are never too old to be a Dash Doll.

Is Jennifer Lawrence the New Britney Spears

Queen_Walter
Here’s Dana Owens aka Queen Latifah as The Wiz in the NBC adaptation of The Wiz Live (top) — and 83-year-old Puerto Rican Spanish-language astrology sensation Walter Mercado (bottom).

According to my abuelita, only one is technically in drag.

#ESCORPIO