J.LO | The Johnny Lopez

This week SCREAMING INTO TRAFFIC bids a fond farewell to the LOOKING finale, bows down to Queen Michelle, crowns a new shirtless Jonas Bros. & watches the Cult of Britney‘s power slip away. So don’t boo, vote … and listen!

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This week SCREAMING INTO TRAFFIC is geeking out like an ’80s nerd for Netflix’s Stranger Things. We’re also unmasking our body dysmorphia, reveling as Melania lip syncs for the GOP’s life & calling Ghostbusters for scaring away the gay. So make like Penelope in Blow and let’s have some f***ing fun!
(photo credit: @BrettSaariPhotography)

This week SCREAMING INTO TRAFFIC is lightening the mood with caftans, Fire Island drag queens, Pokemon madness, Lady Ghostbusters & sending off Chewbacca Mom & Caitlyn on the backlash bus. So pop open the rosé, throw on a muumuu and act a fool with us. Cheers!

CLICK HERE TO LEAVE A REVIEW for  “SCREAMING INTO TRAFFIC”

This week SCREAMING INTO TRAFFIC sleeps on Kanye West‘s star-studded “Famous” video, watches as Queen Bey & Queen Cersei slay their respective arenas, & goes “All the Way Up” with the songs of the summer & the start of Big Brother. Plus a Hollywood institution undergoes a sad transition, Miranda Priestly turns 10 & the latest ‪#‎CaitlynUpdate‬ for your July 4th weekend audible pleasure.

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This week Josh, Brian, special guest Kyle and myself break protocol and react to the tragedy at Pulse nightclub in Orlando. We also discuss LA Gay Pride, what gay bars mean to us and our first gay bar experience.

If you’ve never been to a gay latin night, check out this amazing article: In Praise of Latin Night at the Queer Bar

Don’t forget to donate to the victims & survivors of Pulse nightclub here: Go Fund Me.

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA - MAY 22: Britney Spears is seen on stage during the 2016 Billboard Music Awards held at the T-Mobile Arena on May 22, 2016 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by JB Lacroix/WireImage)

1. Britney Spears was amazing … for Britney Spears. And by that  I mean she maneuvered the stage on her own power (save for her assisted back flip), opened and shut her mouth on a semi-consistent basis, flailed her arms on cue and successfully bolted down her weave. So in that sense – and to quote every other blog & twentysomething on Twitter – Britney did in fact “SLAY.” #PleaseStopUsingSlay

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2. Ciara proved she has Braxton Family Values … circa 2001.

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3.  Fifth Harmony on holiday from their regular paying jobs as stand-ins on Keeping Up With the Kardashians.  The Khloe one is still my fave!

2016 Billboard Music Awards - Show

4. Meghan Trainor – The hair is NO! That dress is NO! Her dancing is NO! You need to let it go.

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5. Justin Bieber shaved his head, lip synched, arm-danced and is now having a full-blown breakdown on Instagram. He’s officially reached icon status. #GimmeGimmeMore

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6. If P!nk is hoisted into the air it must be 2010 … or a Sunday.

2016 Billboard Music Awards - Show

7. Props to Demi Lovato for using her voice to speak out against all those ridiculous anti-transgender bathroom laws … and to sing LIVE! Groundbreaking.

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8. In Memoriam.  Last night, Gwen Stefani dyed … her brows. A moment of silence please.  This shit is B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

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9. Adele sells more than anyone without having to parade around pantless, snatches trophies, doesn’t show up to award shows and drops a ridiculously simple video. She does not give AF! QUEEN.

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10. Kesha – Career re-invention starts now! And if you don’t like her Colonel Sanders meets Temple Grandin ensemble then you must be Team Dr. Luke.

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11. Rihanna is always the coolest chic in the room, even when it’s not technically Casual Friday. #WorkWorkWorkWorkWorkWork

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12. You’d have to be dead inside to not fall in love with Celine Dion after her emotional speech last night. But the real question is how long until Gigi Hadid – or Calvin Klein – starts dating her It boy son, Rene Charles? #HeIs15

2016 Billboard Music Awards - Arrivals

13. I’m living for Halsey‘s ’80s perm! I love saying PERM. Please tell me millennial girls in Brooklyn are rockin’ perms up and down Bedford. For the love of Rhea Perlman, make this a thing, Greenpoint! #fetch

2016 Billboard Music Awards - Show

14. Ariana Grande – For once, bride of Fievel didn’t annoy the crap out of me. Maybe I’ve just gotten use to her Seabiscuit extensions & lazy dancing, but since I actually heard her enunciate, I’m led to believe she finally had her tongue rebuilt. Congrats, lady.

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15. The Go-Gos – Legends, kids!

Original member Kathy Valentine quit the group a few years ago & they added Abby Travis (center), but they still got the beat. And I’ll always be Mad About You, Belinda Carlisle.

2016 Billboard Music Awards - Show

16. Steven Tyler is going to be an excellent addition to Caitlyn’s bus next season!

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17. Madonna –  Well I loved the outfit!  Listen, “Nothing Compares 2 U” is a really tough song to pull off. Obviously not the best for her to chose, but had she done a more uplifting dance track y’all be saying how disrespectful of her to not be solemn. Now I will give props to M for not lip synching, keeping the tribute heartfelt, low-key & not doing an over-the-top medley (ahem, Gaga). Madonna haters are gonna hate, but from one icon to another – who were born the same year, dated and recorded the 1989 track “LoveSong” together – it was still pretty major to witness in my book.  Long live Prince & the Queen.

We’ll be watching, BET.

18. As an added bonus, check out Britney’s inadvertent red carpet tribute to Fredrick’s of Hollywood Prince’s ladies Apollonia & Vanity. #Britney6

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19. And finally, if you haven’t heard the latest episode of my HYSTERICAL weekly podcast SCREAMING INTO TRAFFIC, just click below. It’s life changing!  :)