J.LO | The Johnny Lopez

LAS VEGAS, NEVADA - MAY 22: Britney Spears is seen on stage during the 2016 Billboard Music Awards held at the T-Mobile Arena on May 22, 2016 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by JB Lacroix/WireImage)

1. Britney Spears was amazing … for Britney Spears. And by that  I mean she maneuvered the stage on her own power (save for her assisted back flip), opened and shut her mouth on a semi-consistent basis, flailed her arms on cue and successfully bolted down her weave. So in that sense – and to quote every other blog & twentysomething on Twitter – Britney did in fact “SLAY.” #PleaseStopUsingSlay

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2. Ciara proved she has Braxton Family Values … circa 2001.

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3.  Fifth Harmony on holiday from their regular paying jobs as stand-ins on Keeping Up With the Kardashians.  The Khloe one is still my fave!

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4. Meghan Trainor – The hair is NO! That dress is NO! Her dancing is NO! You need to let it go.

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5. Justin Bieber shaved his head, lip synched, arm-danced and is now having a full-blown breakdown on Instagram. He’s officially reached icon status. #GimmeGimmeMore

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6. If P!nk is hoisted into the air it must be 2010 … or a Sunday.

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7. Props to Demi Lovato for using her voice to speak out against all those ridiculous anti-transgender bathroom laws … and to sing LIVE! Groundbreaking.

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8. In Memoriam.  Last night, Gwen Stefani dyed … her brows. A moment of silence please.  This shit is B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

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9. Adele sells more than anyone without having to parade around pantless, snatches trophies, doesn’t show up to award shows and drops a ridiculously simple video. She does not give AF! QUEEN.

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10. Kesha – Career re-invention starts now! And if you don’t like her Colonel Sanders meets Temple Grandin ensemble then you must be Team Dr. Luke.

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11. Rihanna is always the coolest chic in the room, even when it’s not technically Casual Friday. #WorkWorkWorkWorkWorkWork

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12. You’d have to be dead inside to not fall in love with Celine Dion after her emotional speech last night. But the real question is how long until Gigi Hadid – or Calvin Klein – starts dating her It boy son, Rene Charles? #HeIs15

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13. I’m living for Halsey‘s ’80s perm! I love saying PERM. Please tell me millennial girls in Brooklyn are rockin’ perms up and down Bedford. For the love of Rhea Perlman, make this a thing, Greenpoint! #fetch

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14. Ariana Grande – For once, bride of Fievel didn’t annoy the crap out of me. Maybe I’ve just gotten use to her Seabiscuit extensions & lazy dancing, but since I actually heard her enunciate, I’m led to believe she finally had her tongue rebuilt. Congrats, lady.

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15. The Go-Gos – Legends, kids!

Original member Kathy Valentine quit the group a few years ago & they added Abby Travis (center), but they still got the beat. And I’ll always be Mad About You, Belinda Carlisle.

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16. Steven Tyler is going to be an excellent addition to Caitlyn’s bus next season!

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17. Madonna –  Well I loved the outfit!  Listen, “Nothing Compares 2 U” is a really tough song to pull off. Obviously not the best for her to chose, but had she done a more uplifting dance track y’all be saying how disrespectful of her to not be solemn. Now I will give props to M for not lip synching, keeping the tribute heartfelt, low-key & not doing an over-the-top medley (ahem, Gaga). Madonna haters are gonna hate, but from one icon to another – who were born the same year, dated and recorded the 1989 track “LoveSong” together – it was still pretty major to witness in my book.  Long live Prince & the Queen.

We’ll be watching, BET.

18. As an added bonus, check out Britney’s inadvertent red carpet tribute to Fredrick’s of Hollywood Prince’s ladies Apollonia & Vanity. #Britney6

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19. And finally, if you haven’t heard the latest episode of my HYSTERICAL weekly podcast SCREAMING INTO TRAFFIC, just click below. It’s life changing!  :)

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Sorry, I ain’t sorry.

Luckily, it’s just for a movie … and I still would.

#MyHusband

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It was the night after the Grammys 1997 and the record label in New York I was working at was throwing a party for The Artist‘s – as he was referred to in the office at the time – latest album Emancipation going double platinum.

Myself and the entire publicity staff were working the door at LIFE on Bleecker Street, checking off names on the list, stamping people’s hands as they came through. We were all running on about 3 hours sleep after working the Grammy party the night before and then clocking a full day at the office. But I was high with anticipation & remember the exact moment I laid my human eyes on all 5’2″ of him.

I completely froze. Star sightings in NY or LA are one thing, but ICONS are whole other story. “Holy fucking shit it’s PRINCE,” I screamed silently in my head as he stood no more than five feet away. A mash up of videos for “When Doves Cry,” “1999” & “I Wanna Be Your Lover” (my personal faves) simultaneously rushed through my head as I suddenly became that insecure 12-year-old fanboy standing in line at the Midway Theater in Forest Hills the day Purple Rain came out back in 1984.

Luckily, one of my coherent co-workers opened the velvet rope. He sauntered up, gave half a smile & locked eyes with me for what seemed like forever. For a split second I was Vanity, Apollonia, Wendy &, yes, Lisa. And the water was warm enough!

As is usually the case, it was over before it even started. He and his platform boots were quickly whisked down the stairs to hold court inside the club’s VIP room. And I was abruptly brought out of my purple haze by the sight of Marilyn Manson & Joan Osborne – remember it’s 1997 – holding out their wrists asking to be stamped. But all was good with the world, because I was officially Delirious.

#RIP #TheArtistForeverKnownAsPrince #Prince

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Crazy that they were all born the same year & even more insane that two have left us.

In 1984, the soundtrack to this 13-year-old’s life (like so many of my generation) was “Purple Rain,” “Thriller,” and “Madonna.”

They were, are & forever will be The Trinity. Now can someone please PLEASE put Madonna in a padded glass box??!!

#ICONS #RIP #Prince #MichaelJackson #LongLiveTheQueen #Madonna #TheTrinity

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Sometimes it snows in April.